They did this already: RIP integrity.

Oh my god. Is “downstorm” the new baseball “dong” on kinja? I sometimes feel like there’s a secret game of word scrabble going amongst the writers, the rules of which are muddy, but successfully repurposing a word or introducing a new one and getting the masses to adopt must score high.

Rodney Carrington’s obvious parodies are more obvious than that, I think. I’m not so sure this one isn’t genuine. Below is a good one, no subtlety either!

This made my day. My a/c is busted, it’s hot as balls and humid as a swamp so I needed a good laugh.

Suspended for the rest of the preseason. Looks like the KHL didn’t want to fight with him either.

with no evidence beyond a strong gut feeling, I’m saying it now: where these strange rodent beasts live, so too lives the Chupacabra. And the government doesn’t want you to know this.

Yes! Let’s Americanize Rio!! We’re gonna teach you how to stand our ground Brazil.

I have never lived in North Dakota but I had a job that meant I traveled most of the state from time to time — I like the state a lot and many people from there even more. The old joke there is if you stand on a beer can you can see 5 states and 2 Canadian provinces. It’s funny because it’s just barely an…

He MAY need stitches?!?! Also, Caribbean lobster = ass.

Maybe they were using code names?

I went to Disneyland this year for the first time since I was a kid. I took my family of five (kids, 10, 12, 14). We’ve done a handful of expensive vacations. But HO-LEE CRAP Disney felt like the absolute worst bang for buck. Don’t get me wrong, the rides and the fun are absolutely AMAZING. Technology is incredible,…

I wouldn’t quibble with anything you say here, that this won’t change them. But I look at it this way: it matters to other people and satisfies others, whether the knuckle-draggers are persuaded or not. I don’t need to change you to say “I’m taking my business elsewhere” and still feel like that’s the right decision.

Are you accusing this guy of staring at Michael Jordan’s junk?

TL; DR. Shorter: Look up baby gift registry. Pick something that fits your budget. Buy that.

this a thousand times over. I hate it in golf for just that reason. The hockey debacle ranks up there with ABC’s “Cop Rock” on The Great List of Terrible Ideas.

Not impaired?! Soooooo .... what then? Extremely terrible, awful, rotten very bad, no good driver? HIGGGGGHHHLY sleepy? Didn’t the original report say he was pretty incoherent when they tried to rouse him from the kind of sinking car? I’ve been tired before. VERY sleepy exhausted in some cases. I have never found…

Is that real?? And thank you — curse and a blessing having it at a young age. I remember vividly looking around the waiting room of people waiting in the doc’s office when I was getting the nerve block. I was the youngest by 50 years for sure and that was weird. The upshot is I was mostly healthy and fit, and a…

This is actually pretty standard for a herniated disk, at least it used to be when I had this problem. The basic thinking is you want to do everything possible to avoid surgery so you try everything non-invasive that’s possible first. As I recall, it’s something like the bulging disk creates inflammation and presses…

A sponge? A SPONGE?!! Why don’t you just lick the raw chicken and rub some behind your ears for good measure. You can keep your little bacterial club med situation there and I’ll roll the dice with not washing my knife handles.

Had to sacrifice $50 worth of beer and food, but ALMOST had a shot a major league baseball. Which I’m pretty sure you can’t get anywhere else at any price.