Convo b/t me and long distance BF a couple days ago:

Ha that reminds me of a Tinder message from an admittedly ridiculously hot specimen of man: “I would smash with the force of 10,000 rhinoceroses stampeding across the Serengeti.” I must admit I was intrigued.

Between Friends and Seinfeld, I absolutely agree.

“I love maxi dresses. You can pry them out of my cold dead hands.”

Seriously, I get so tired of people thinking the Midwest is some vast food desert with no indoor plumbing (and every other stereotype you can think of). And how potatoes come from Iowa, Ohio is known for its corn, and Idaho is the Buckeye state (or more commonly called Idowahio). I usually just stare at these kinds of…

Um... I’m from a lily white suburb of Des Moines, Iowa and we all got no nonsense sex education. It’s not just in your stereotypical more liberal/larger cities. Fourth grade the girls were put in a room together to learn about their periods and watched a video called “Julie’s Story,” complete with a take home pamphlet…

Simple solution: the dick becomes the ball gag. She’s still silent, and he gets a BJ.

Oh man, the cigarette butt droppers piss me off the most. Those butts are everywhere. I really wish they’d enforce no littering laws and ticket people that did that. They’d make a hell of a lot of money at first and then hopefully discourage people from doing so in the future. And a lot of the time they’re still lit.…

Preach. My first public sex was on the bridge of a playground in a park at 2am. It was hot and kinda jingly because of the chains. That sparked my love of sex in public places.

It’ll have to be a mirror selfie

Having been a dark blonde to a medium blonde (now, with highlights because the dark blonde is just so very dull looking) my whole life except for 3 months when I dyed my hair brown at 24, I wonder what the deal is with straight men and blondes. I definitely noticed the difference in that 3 months with brown hair.

Hmm interesting perspective. I shaved my legs for the first time in 4th grade. My mom thought it was funny. I started wearing makeup around 6th grade (not much, just foundation mostly). Mom didn’t say anything about that either. She did however criticize everything she deemed not correct though—from plucking my…

YAAAASSSS!! I also wine-drunkenly ordered an iPhone 6 case that has a pouring glass of red wine, lips, and a stiletto on the back of it. Arriving today via Amazon Prime. I’m obviously taking a selfie “drinking” out of my phone.

I love it too!! And yes, that’s always my immediate thought whenever I see him. That and him having a threesome with Stephen Baldwin and Lara Flynn boyle in the movie Threesome.

Yeah, I need one of these in my life. And I was totally rocking her earlier wine glass in the skit. I too had a big ol (normal sized) glass of wine that was just about filled to the brim even though you’re only supposed to fill it maybe halfway (and that’s generous). It was the end of the bottle, and I was just too…

It’s like we’re soul sisters or something... Not to get into a pissing contest of whose life sucks harder, but let’s just say we’re similar in a lot of ways. I’m seriously about to pull an Eat Pray Love and traipse across Europe (except I don’t have the money for that and would never be able to do the Pray part of…

Thank you. I’m pretty much right there with you with why I want to end the marriage. Incidentally, this past Friday he asked me if I wanted to try marriage counseling, and I said not really for the exact reason you stated—you can’t counsel someone or force someone to love someone else. Once I realized that’s what it…

Oh absolutely. I feel you so hard here. And hey—me too on the been with him since I was 21 deal. Been with him for pretty much my entire adult life. And we are also very close, which I think is what may have partially did us in. We moved to a new city and only had each other, and still do pretty much (not really any…

Dude I’ve been working on breaking up with my husband of 4 years (together for 11) for the last couple of months, and it just sucks. When you’ve shared a life with someone for that long and have a mortgage and a dog (*luckily* no kids involved) and furniture and those pesky feelings of the other person that really…

Ha this was pretty much my experience of being off the pill for 3 years. I have PCOS, so the pill really made me regular and gave me a lot of benefits. When I went off of it in an attempt to get knocked up, oh my. Acne like never before (well probably comparable to before I was 16 and got on the pill). Painful boobs…