Absolutely nothing wrong with a golf harlequin. I still want one

This week on The Salty Waitress:

Intentionally hurting your draft rating in an attempt to get drafted between 15 and 20 is a surefire way to get the Kings to draft you at 2. Hell, they may even trade up to get him.

So you’re saying the defense is leakier than a screen door on a submarine

Do Not Ever Underestimate....

“I don’t have a girlfriend, but I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that.”

How bout you go fuck yourself

Nah. The racists are having a brief moment of glory with trump. We’ll deal with them when we’re done with him.

I had a coworker with a 2014 Dart (200 sibling) that had to replace the heater core in 2016. A two year old car that needs a new heater core is not a well designed and put together machine. Granted I have lived in Florida, Louisiana, and Georgia for my entire life and this car did spend most of its first year of…

“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, ‘You’re gonna have to move, you’re blocking a fire exit.’ As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”

I’m shocked a 3 year old 200 is $14k. I wouldn’t have paid that much for a new one.

I think there’s a common thread here, and it’s not leases. Please tell me which of those cars you would want to own without a factory warranty. Personally my answer is “none”, except maybe the Buick, but I don’t want an Enclave anyway.

“The thing that’s depressing about tennis is no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.”

“I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”

This will be a welcomed gift.

“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.”

He’s the number one prospect in Lamplighters Guild mock drafts.

That is how you pick up the 7-10 split my friends.

Maybe this will satisfy