this screams irvine, CA architecture to me, except i see public transportation infrastructure.

Anecdotally, all of the major construction I see in suburbs seems to be these weird looking apartment complexes that all have like four different materials on the exterior that I think are maybe supposed to be imitating an urban building that’s been converted into apartments, only they’re brand new. All of them look…

Meanwhile, inside the patrol car...

Pictured: White Jesus

“woof” is also the sound air makes when escaping from a football

Tom Brady giving shade to Tom Ley? That’s ruff

The better part of $10k for a broken, old, BMW V12, that has been modded??

I would love for him to come back for no other reason than to have my son see him play. He has never watched him but somehow believes he is the best player ever. I’m not saying I want my kids dreams crushed but I’m not saying I don't either. 

Wouldn’t be the first time he told Vanessa one thing while doing another

If by luxury he meant “without even the thought of the word luxury”, then yeah, maybe a wrangler. Then again, a Wrangler isn’t unique, either.

Obligatory. (Why is the original an mp4?...i swear...)

She’s a known rich person, which certainly has something to do with her campaign! I also cited Mitt Romney and George HW (in the draft, realized the milk thing had been ‘debunked.’)

I voted for Hillary, but let’s not pretend she was a perfect candidate. She’s fair game for jabs.

Me and my improv group “Tricksy Biznaz” is great, and you can’t tell me otherwise!

Doomed? You’re already dead.

What activity/task has the biggest disparity between people who think they’re good at it and people who are actually good at it?

In regards to roasting your kids, I’ve mentioned before but I’ve already gone too hard and now my small child knows how to roast me endlessly all the time.
“What’s up, short stuff?”
“I’m gonna be taller than you one day, and then I’ll beat you up.”

“Can I have a snack?”
“No. Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes.”
“I…

The one great narcotic that the NFL has at their disposal is that it feels good to watch the game on a chilly autumn Sunday when you don’t really want to do anything. Maybe that’s at a bar, maybe that’s at a friends place, maybe that’s just by yourself, falling asleep on the couch. But it’s still pretty great, even if…

My star goes to Antti (In Eli’s mail):

Ben McAdoo looks like the fourth or fifth guy you’d hire to to assault a figure skater with a baton.