I went to college with Carl (cake eater/kisser up there). I’d been feeling a little disappointed about not being exactly where I want to be in life lately, especially in regards to my peers, and watching this trailer makes me feel so much better about myself.

My theory (for older people at least, aka my mom) is that in light of the vast amount of information available today, the world no longer fits into the black and white, us vs them worldview they were brought up with (the world vs communism, etc). Younger people tend to realize that the world is an interconnected place…

“Why buy a candle that actually smells good, when I could have this one? It smells like Willy Wonka threw up in an edible lube factory!”

All you people shocked that a candle costs $35 best never step into an Anthropologie.

The only reasonable explanation is that they are vampires. The only unique feature of the Financial District is that a couple of the streets never see natural light. Plus, it’s plenty deserted at night for them to pick off the other people stupid enough to be there after hours.

Hey basically does play Michael Bluth full time

I was sad when I read the article. Not to dismiss what he did and he should absolutely serve his appropriate time. But his comments just feel like a simple guy that read too much bullshit and got caught up in too much emotion. Everything about this story lines up nicely with a Muslim-executed terrorist attack, minus…

“I like flowers. They’re beautiful. I think, ‘Well, they’re going to be dead in three or four days, but my God, aren’t they beautiful now?’ ” He leans back and exhales. “Everything’s so transient,” he says. “Everything dies.”

Apparently, Trump supporters are against elitism as long as that means a person is well-educated and intelligent.

haha, just came here for the same thing....

I like to call it the melted doll look.

Okay, this is petty and off-topic, but HOLY FUCK CAN THESE PEOPLE LEARN TO PUT ON THEIR FUCKING EYELASHES!! God, better to have your piddly little god-given lashes than one half drooping off making you look all drugged up. Kelly-Ann Conway also had an issue with this recently and it was all I could see. One was coming…

OMG who I wouldn’t kill for a President Jack Donaghy right now

So honestly, I hope he keeps this up. Goes to every city in the Midwest, and then tours the South. Why do I want this?

Because this douchecanoe shut down I75. At rush hour. I know Cincinnati doesn’t sound like the biggest place in the world, but shutting down 75 is Yooge. A friend of mine was stuck in this…

Hell, Kenneth would kick his ass in a negotiation.

Jack Donaghy would kick his ass in a negotiation.

God, this season of America is such shit.