In the 2004 film Mean Girls, Amanda Seyfried’s character famously reveals that her breasts “can always tell when it’s gonna rain.”

She’s Ann Coulter’s MiniMe, except instead of smelling like stale cigarette smoke and Chardonnay, she smells of Mystic Tan fumes.

I believe the driver would be an asshole because assholes shit on everything but as we know dicks fuck assholes too!

I kinda like N’Mysis as a burlesque stage name and may steal it. It’s terrible as someone’s government name, though.

Fresh Market is NOT a cut rate Whole Foods. It has little to do with organic or all natural to any degree greater than the average grocery store. It’s just an upscale market that’s supposed to be reminiscent of European open air markets.

Lucy Furson is how we did it. All my animals have, at the very least, two names. And Jezebel Puppyeta (her backstory is that she was a russian operative posing as a model so that she could travel all over the world on the pretext of photo shoots).

Once again, New York finds a way to barge into Philly discussions.

My parents insisted early that my nephew (and their only grandchild) call them Gae-Gae and Pa-Pa. I have since re-taught the child to call them “Gangy” and “Pop-Pop”.

The elusive Big Banksy

wearing an ascot and toting a glass of wine.

Stupid hat? Check.

Balthazar? BALTHAZAR? God, I hate hipsters.

Unless you think your kid is going to be getting a job in the government of King Nebuchadnezzar or paying tribute to the baby Jesus, you probably shouldn’t name them Balthazar.

Still better than the billion names that rhyme with Aiden we’ve been getting for the past 20 years.

I have a friend from Minnesota whose son is named “Axel,” but it’s a family name, they’re Scandinavian, and they live in Minnesota, so it’s cool.

Balthazar? Axel? Afton? That’s quite enough now, please stop.

 
Prime Minister Muhammad Nawaz Sharif called President-elect USA Donald Trump and fellatiated him on his victory.

India is going to take this well.

They should probably vet him before he visits. Then put him through some advanced interrogation, just to determine what his intentions are. Then if necessary, place him in some sort of camp until they determine what to do with people of his kind.

No, this was actual gold, not paint