Satirical masterpiece!

I'd be all over it were it not already removed for violating "terms of participation," whatever those are.

You're welcome.

I figured this thread would make its way here eventually, so why not get the whole thing out of the way ahead of time?

*dick joke*

Yeah, cuz you totally had to click the link, didn't you? Ass.

Enough with the GIFs already.

Hmm. Strange, I don't remember seeing it. Oh well.

I've been to South Bend. If I ever was jealous of anything about Notre Dame's football team or academics, it's far outweighed by my pity for where they have to live.

By comparison to the SEC's non-conference schedule? Yeah.

Sadly, we can't, as conferences, all play Wofford, Jacksonville State, West Carolina, Georgia Southern, Alabama A&M, Sam Houston State, and Samford in one week.

This comment... well gosh ya know, it's just beautiful.

Yeah, Omaha is great. Cops don't give a damn unless you do something serious. Gotta stay frosty when you're down in Sarpy county though. Those guys have nothing better to do than pull people over.

Lincoln is a maelstrom of suck in all regards, especially when it comes to the cops. They don't take serious shit seriously, but they have laser-like focus whenever someone speeds around them.

There's a Tyrannosaurus that likes to watch the traffic drive by right off I-80... but that's in Eastern Nebraska.

Yeah, but if you keep an extra virgin on-hand for the game warden you can get away with baiting.

What part of the state were you in? Police dickbaggery varies greatly from place to place within the state.

"You can go 75 in Nebraska?"

Magnifique.