I like how everyone pretends they were too cool for the black album. It sold a billion copies, but zero people on this thread owned it or headbanged to its evidently-too-poppy-and-too-accessible-to-”own” charms? Puhlease. You all liked the black album and played in to get pumped for JV football. Admit it!

Was watching this game while Mrs. PatrickFrancoHarrisonBergeron napped on the couch. Made a noise when KAT did his thing that was unsubtle. Now she’s mad, and she also refused to watch the replay and understand why I squawked so wildly. Thanks a lot, basketball.

You can just say “fuck” and “bullshit,” your kids can’t hear your deadspin comments unless you read them out loud.

Nobody should care what rich people think about this.

He’s in shape, so, yeah, but more athletically.

How does Grady Sizemore figure in?

The verb “soar” is a straw man of sorts. This show crept and shambled and lounged, assumedly on purpose. Fair to say it was shaggy, (the white optometrist seemed hacky as hell to me) but it’s not right to say it did anything but succeed, since even the failures (the orthodontist, again) have the audience asking…

Harrumph.

Not leaving him out of my Kris Bryant slash fiction, not leaving him out of this.

I’m going to be a Dad. What, Dads of Deadspin, are your best Dad-hacks?

Legs swing through, hands slip, a vertical fall to the floor, oh fuck oh fuck my wrist, rinse and repeat.

Iraq is what, in the Middle East somewhere? Always been curious about that.

Heroes are heroes before anyone knows they’re heroes.

There are no good kickers, only Zuul.

Does Ichiro have this car, though?

Stepping in dog shit is icky. Kobe raped a woman.

Irony: deadspin bench guy fluffs team with no bench.

Burl Ives matter.

Who says blogs don’t do journalism?

I always thought his claims about his “murderous Spider Monkey” were part of an attempt to seem poncy and eccentric, but that monocle-sporting poofter’s claims were accurate!