On my first date with my now-wife, we went to a Dodgers game (my first, SoCal transplant) and when I went to the bathroom, Vin Scully was playing on the speakers and talking about Shin-Soo Choo and I thought “I gotta marry this girl.” No idea why or how, and I understand how odd and Proustian that seems, but hearing…

As opposed to the dominance that preceded before him?

GOAT

Love watching guys who are so fast and athletic that they make other fast and athletic guys look ungainly and awkward. He’s neat.

Death to Time Warner.

Actually “Schimelpfenig” is as common in Biwabik and Clontarf and Strathcona as “Smith” is in your Brooklyns and Bronxes and what have you.

🎶Someone has a crush on you🎶

Hope your new book agent doesn’t inexplicably love shitty wings, my man.

One minor gay hurdle in that plan.

Yup. Victorville is where the really poor Palmdale people end up. Grim.

“NOL STRNG” vanity plates on an FSU-color-scheme Ford Raptor or gtfo.

Everybody else thinks you're a liar and you should eat a bag of toe nails, Giants fan. Hunter Pence is the only good Giant ever.

Now I’m doing my best “Vin Scully tells heartwarming tale about Kermit Meme’s hardscrabble upbringing while flawlessly detailing the ins and outs of his current at-bat.” My wife, of course, loves my Vin Scully impression and is always excited to hear me break it out.

Stay ill. Good luck out there.

It would appear we have roughly similar amounts of time, and prioritize our use of it similarly as well.

Consider that remark. Its fear. Its quippy meaninglessness. Hmmmmm. Maybe don’t pants yourself trying to seem cool, instead of authentically dealing with the fact that you’re making the same argument used to perpetually justify any number of sins.

The idea that an arbitrary body gets to dictate what is “honorable” or “ethical” isn’t civilization, it’s fascism. An ethos, incidentally, which fetishizes “rules” as a way of alienating that which the ruling class identifies as “other” in its perpetual project of distracting and controlling the masses by providing…

Fair Play Schmair Play. Winning 1-0 and playing defensively is no less “honorable” than winning any other way. Arbitrary measures of what is or isn’t “bullshit” is moralizing nonsense. If you box well for two rounds and then are able to avoid allowing your opponent to land punches for the remaining rounds to the point…

Hot trash Puritan nonsense. He won. He physically defeated his opponent. So what if he did while shit-talking and hot-dogging? You don’t like it? Score a takedown and stop him. Sports isn’t church.

Dad?