Wrestling surprisingly prudish for such a cock-and-balls-front-and-center sport?

I grew a mustache this summer, and I’m just now realizing that choice was subconsciously motivated by a desire to look more like Zlatan. (I don't look like Zlatan.)

In the coming war between Montreal and Kansas, I will tell this story at the table once peace talks begin, and all sides will agree that I, an ethical bystander, have done a great deal to end the bloodshed with my stirring narrative. What is a casserole but a poutine which has been the subject of additional love and…

A true tale: I lived in Wichita for a long time. I am a Kansan. Once, I was biking in Montreal and a guy was not following the rules (as I, puritanically conditioned Kansan, was) and instead of walking his bike on the McGill campus, he was riding at a rapid clip. A woman didn’t see him coming, and looked up in time to…

How's Shocker ass taste, son?

Back to the halcyon days of Mike Hayden. Also, don’t sweat the haters. Nico Hernandez is a Kansan and he could beat all their asses.

“Weekend bodybuilder”

The field looks wider, too?

More Ichiro. Less jalapeños.

Fly out.

John Brown for galactic emperor.

Westlake Village is close enough to Chatsworth that I’m saying it’s him.

It's over now. It's all done.

In light of the shocking absence of Mo Speights, who is the river’s source and its mouth, the maker of light, the heart of all, I will vote Bartolo.

I miss you deeply.

Mo Speights is the best NBA player.

What did his cryptic message mean, though? Also, what went sliding across the floor post-tackle? Phone?

The ball was slippery, man! (And it was actually a Kemp jersey, nbd.)

However good it felt to write that, it should have felt better. Perfection.

Sad squid songs am I singing. A 6/9 can't come and go with this divide between us, can it?