This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

Heckler: (heckles)

Shawn Long’s Lawn Blog

This will either be a fun pairing or a total disaster

Hooverballs come in two styles, “His” and “Hernias”.

Sorry we’re awesome.

Yep. Deadspin’s baseball articles have been riddled with fundamental errors recently.

What do you notice from Tom Brady on a daily basis that helps him maintain his high level of performance?

Report: NFL Expected To Shorten Overtime

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

I like you, I know you’re a Yankees fan so your reaction makes sense and makes me laugh.

The longer excerpt continues on to the 2013 season, which was much more notable.

This should really boost his Yards after Catch numbers.

he didn’t want marijuana usage to be “something that we’ll be held accountable for some years down the road.”

Your buttcrack must be nightmarish.

Roland Capers sounds like the name of a college point guard...

I shower in the morning after my wake-up dump. I feel more confident during the day when I’m not constantly questioning whether or not I’ve done an adequate job cleaning myself. Those are thoughts that consume me.

meeting Kermit the Frog is the best experience one can have on this planet

Counterpoint: Clerks 2 fucking sucks.