“I just need it! It’s like I’m a diabetic and there’s insulin in your ass and I have to get it with my tongue!” Classy.

I would do just about anything to avoid ever having to attend an NFL game.

Why the fuck does anyone go to these things ever. Dear God.

You did the only thing you could do, which was to trust your gut when you weren’t comfortable. There is NO rule that you have to continue with sex when it changes from enjoyable to unpleasant, regardless of how well-behaved your partner is. And from your version of events, it sounds like you tried to be open and…

I didn’t expect him to be THRILLED but his reaction was way over the top, right?!

“where can we go to hear music, get wasted, dress funny, and feel relevant?”

Enjoy it while it lasts, kid. Being a smart kid is hell as an adult. People have so many expectations for you, so many goals, so many AP classes. You have so much promise as a young thing, so bright and clever, and suddenly you look around and you’re sitting in your pajamas, watching Netflix, doing nothing with your…

This isn’t embarrassing for me, but more for the rest of the school.

Austin, Texas native here. I’m one generation away from forced segregation. Both my parents attended “whites-only” institutions. I moved away 10 years ago, almost 11. I have family there, and friends I’ve known since I started first grade, and I miss all those people. I haven’t necessarily made the same connections in…

Wives, though?

yougotsentenced.com

I'm 1hr along with a chicken, mashed potato, and gravy baby. I'm so happy! In fact, tomorrow I'm going to do it all over again. It's such a blessing. Such a miracle.

There are many things on this earth that, well I wouldn't use the word outlived because these things are not alive to begin with so outlasted many other things. However I can just not have empathy with these things at all. Sorry but material things are low on my totem pole of things I have concern about.

Everyone always feaks out when I tell them I can eat a whole pizza by myself no prob! Glad to know I am not the only one!

I've been single for so long that pretty much everything I do is SSB.

I love my curly hair, I learned to deal with it by finding an amazing stylist (hey Pri!) and we have been together almost 25 years! I use a cocktail of products, Davines Love shampoo/conditioner is a game changer. For styling I use Moroccan Oil hydrating cream, Davines Oi oil, and Pravana Curl Enhancing gel (won't…

This advice is kind of shit. "Don't get rid of your scar, that's dumb! Here I did five seconds of googling for you." "Tankinis are dumb, don't wear them! Here's a one piece, which you said you didn't want [because YES they are a PITA and bathroom trips are hard enough with a kid in tow], and doesn't cover the stomach…

That black and white swimsuit is so hot. But unless it's got cups sewn in, I would look droopy as fuck and it would be aesthetically unpleasant.

It was also fun to see what Smash Mouth is doing these days.

I can't be the only one who hears the lyrics as "amazing cunt", right?