Dear Prince Shembo,

The "this little piggy, ball peen hammer version" always makes me cringe.

And here I thought Magary would be writing GQ’s summer fashion issue. #StripedPolo

18 years since Men in Black and I still assume all of these dogs talk like Frank.

"who's disgusting baseball chin is this?"

What idiot called it Bark at the Park instead of the Marge Schott Memorial Bring The Bitch Out To The Ballpark Day.

“Modern technology means you can narrow that phone call’s origin to someplace on or near the surface of the Earth.”

When kids are the same age, you can chalk certain things up to curiosity, but this dude was 17 and apparently was still “playing doctor”? Gimme a break.

This is a story in three parts.

When I played HS Football, the upperclassmen had a thing where they threw freshman in the showers with all their clothes on. When they came for me, I just punched one of them in the face and said, “I’m not your guy.” They seemed genuinely surprised and said “Damn, can’t take a joke?”

Killer will always remain my favorite album from Alice Cooper. There is something special about those albums that tell a story, either musically or lyrically, from beginning to end. This one is classic. I think we wore out the album, playing it over and over.

Another solution in search of a problem. Instead of adding an expensive gadget to the truck, Ford could have simply written the following in the owner’s manual:

super duper alice cooper is such a great documentary.

I stopped my dad from selling his old collection of LPs when I was 13 (2003). One of the records I made him save was School’s Out — with the panties still on the record. I was very used to Cooper’s usual teen anthems (I’m Eighteen, School’s Out, Elected) but was stuck by how awesome the lesser known tracks on his…

I love Alice Cooper. Not that it’s relevant to this story in any way, I once met him and he is as cool a guy as you would imagine.

Nope. Front u-joint.

There’s this part that usually gets installed with high horsepower builds... it’s called a driveshaft loop. It’s used in case you overpower your poor ujoints or old driveshaft. Would have saved a lot of damage in this case for sure.

Yolk? There’s your problem. You should use the whole egg.

It’s not the axle that broke, so that wouldn’t have solved anything