Try your hardest not to shit your pants or everyone will call you “that guy who shit his pants” until you get a new job.

This is weird. I like it.

Have you ever done one of these types of races?

I’ve got the black lung, pop!

Haha rainbow lung haha

What’s the point of even talking about this? We all Goodell is only going to suspend Mayweather two games unless there’s video evidence.

Go to sleep man.

If I wanted to run for my life while having things thrown at me, I’d sit in the visitors section at WVU again.

I recommend a seven-day course of penicillin here. The back office will schedule a follow-up visit for you on your way out.

‘That’s the craziest goddamned thing I’ve ever seen. And wait until you watch it in motion.’

Telling a guy who’s worth 65 million bucks his career decisions are “silly.” LOL internet.

It’s about getting your fair cut and not being exploited. Not about being a paid whore.

“would have been an effective mic drop for the show’s mission to find the next global pop star.”

There’s only one way to deal with wimpy white dudes with guitars:

I didn’t make it as far with the show as you. But other reasons the show fails are

We’ll call it even.

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At the peak of its reign, the show was everything to everyone: the launching pad for the pop careers of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Hicks...

Wimpy?! But he's got a tattoo. A tattoo!!