Probably not, since the only way to get there is through Russia. But they’re definitely all over the Black Sea, which is just a hop, skip, and Caucasus away. You’d think they’d see the Caspian on a map every now and then. I know where it is, and I’ve never had any reason to.

Yes! That is who should be punished for Harvey Weinstein: The Texas film industry! Better be safe an punish every Texas industry while you’re at it. Punish everyone. Just shut the whole Texas economy right down. That’ll show those liberal Hollywood elites!

Wait until they win the franchise wars.

Raffi is WAY more punk than most self-described punks. (Seriously. Raffi is awesome.)

I’m a little caught up on the construction “corduroy jeans.” Does she even know what jeans are? If they’re corduroy, they’re not jeans.

That’s not a cow. Cows are adult and female. That is neither.

Exactly. Buying a Harley is like buying a Miata. If you’re not a bald divorcé over fifty, you’d buy literally anything else first.

“Virgin Islanders and Puerto Ricans themselves often refer to their territories as their countries.”

Didn’t you just read a news article about exactly that?

A wizard did it.

Dazed & Confused came out in 1993, and was set in 1976.

Well, no, the people who run Twitter have their heads screwed on backwards. That’s not a reflection on anyone else. Twitter sucks, and so do the people who run it, and that’s all there is to it.

Well, sure, but, like, who’s gonna do it? A rapist, by definition. Prison’s not supposed to be some free-for-all where criminals get to keep committing crimes.

I found her performance rather wooden.

How long until we have two white rappers from Detroit running for president against each other?

Guy Fieri cosplay?

No prob. Small Soldiers is about toy soldiers, so it’s easy to get them confused.

And why are they all from Queens? Someone should build a wall.

But it was trending on Twitter! Surely all the best business decisions come from hashtags.

Toy Soldiers, or Small Soldiers? One of them is a bit less BK tie-in appropriate than the other.