*gasp* Oh no!

You should check out the gesture formerly used during the Pledge of Allegiance.

If you had any doubts about the NFL being a jingoist propaganda tool, here you go.

NEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDherder

Come on now. Things only become Things after exposure to gamma rays.

[never mind. apparently you (i.e. I) can’t do images if you’re STILL FUCKING GREYED OUT]

He looks like

Oh, poppy hockey!

Zodiac killer?

Any lawyers in the house want to clarify whether that policy is even legal?

Spoiling trailers is not a thing. If you are seriously bothered by this, ask your doctor about Xanax.

Who’s catering? I know a place that does a great pigeon pie.

Simpsons writer found digging in trash

Oh my god, is he???

Look out! It’s the tadpole!

Well, you can count out the Canadian market, which would have probably flocked to a Ryan Gosling movie if it weren’t Thanksgiving weekend.

Most sculptors suck. There are, like, three good ones.

That’s a pretty good sculpture of the kid who turned into Tom Hanks in Big.

It’s weird that you call them freeways. They’re called highways. “Freeways” sounds like a feminine hygiene product.

Basically all of Canada does it. I took the 401 to the 403 just the other day.