The entire gun pathology in this country comes down to one thing: every gun fondler is fucking sure they are John McClaine. They’re actually Yosemite Sam or Elmer Fudd, judging by how much they shoot themselves.

You doubt the ability of insurance adjusters and actuarials? They’d be able to figure the proper rate for each gun.

As always, The Roots are the only reason to watch that show.

Donated to science. Let the med students cut on me or throw my body in a field and let me rot to train forensic scientists.

I just want to spare my family from spending crazy money on my carcass.

Except it’s her adult paramour that says it.

I have a legit beef with the whole “Nobody puts Baby in a corner” thing, and that’s nobody actually put Baby in a corner.

I mean, the line is iconic, and before I saw the movie I was sure that her dad was going to be the smug, tight-assed villain of the piece who is oppressing his daughter. Imagine my surprise when it…

My favorite thing about this GIF is the puppet has a molar filling. That’s attention to detail.

I would put it on a high interest credit card too. Then I would use my cash savings at the end of the month to pay of the sucker and pocket the skymiles, paying no interest in the process.

How does it feel to be to the right of Chris Christie?

We have an election, but it’s all very local things. Governor and Senate were last year.

Speaking as a white person, so take this with a whole bowl of salt...

I don’t see the problem, so long as you don’t make it a point of augmenting his skin in any way or giving him any racist signifiers like slant eyes or some such nonsense. I generally think that’s were these costumes go wrong. If you want to dress up…

Sorry, but that’s nonsense. This is what happens when your market is teenage girls, and you try to sell them something their mothers like.

George Lucas has a genius-level understanding of iconography and stooge-level understanding of character. All problems with Star Wars stem from this dichotomy.

No. The Star Wars plot beats are cultural signifiers, like Rosebud in Citizen Kane or the shower scene in Psycho. You’ll be able to follow along.

It’s almost like those memorials have little to do with honoring state heroes. What could be the actual reason those statues went up, I wonder?

And Georgia Tech is an extremely prestigious school.

If you have an hour to kill, Mr. Plinkett will tell you why people hate this movie.

My favorite part is when he compares how many people Indiana Jones directly kills in each movie. The number for Crystal Skull may surprise you.

According to this idiotic tool you’re being very impolite!

I love the thing, but anyone who says it’s the best hip-hop album of the year is either out of their fucking mind or doesn’t really like hip-hop.

It is musical theater. If you don’t like that, you won’t like Hamilton, no matter how good the rhymes are.