I don’t even like my mother. We haven’t seen or spoken to each other in years. When my son was a year old, she called him “short” and “stupid.” She is vile and never should have had children. And even I, who has actively wished her to fall off the face of the earth to everlasting torment would inflict harm on anyone…

Yes! It is so deliciously evil.

RIGHT! He’s amazingly polite and calm through this, and his mother clearly sounds hurt by all this. If anyone fucked with my mom I would lose my shit.

Well...he did tell her that she’s going to die soon so I’ll mark that off as a win.

Once at a concert a dude PUSHED my mom out of the way so he could hit on my sister. OH did she destroy him verbally! Chewed him a new asshole something fierce. It was a thing to behold.

No kidding I am insane if people are mean to my mom!

Really not trying to start an argument here, but why are you so willing to give this woman the benefit of the doubt? People can be completely irrational AND not suffer from dementia. Happens all the time, unfortunately.

Hey racist Trashbag - LEARN SPANISH!

“Shut up! You’re stupid!”

Ever notice that the people yelling at others to speak English never have that great a grasp on it themselves?

Look at these fucking morons.

No need. FOX appointed ten already.

there’s a whole lotta world outside Montauk, y’know.

You, me, same. I drink like my Irish forebearers, fast, and lots. Often alone. Even when I am with family or friends I prefer to chill.

I’ve never had patience for loud drunks. What is it about intoxication that inspires one to repeatedly yell “WOOO!” at top volume?

“hurrr durrr i luv babbys”

Absolutely. I’ve had some guys come up to me (not as a server, just as a woman existing in the world) and apologize for their friends’ creepy behavior towards me. Hey, while he was bothering me, why not tell him to back off? That might actually have done something!!

Basically: No matter how crazy a Behind Closed Ovens story is at least one commenter will come to the defense of the terrible customer. It’s named after the author of these posts.

Ladies, if your date is perfectly fine with feeding you pancakes prepared on the same surface as grilled snapper, you should be calling a cab on your way “to the Ladies Room” and not looking back.