Extremely well put. And may I add a POX upon every chicken shit restaurant manager out there. If you’re afraid of the customers, if you can’t find it within yourself to stand up for your employees then YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE A RESTAURANT MANAGER!!! GET THE FUCK OUT AND TAKE THAT RUDE ASS CUSTOMER WITH YOU!!!!

Yup. And chocolate milk. I’m sorry, we’re all out of chocolate syrup.”

I was at a Logan’s and the couple behind us were being so rude to the waitress, berating her and treating her like she was an idiot. She came to us next and you could tell she was upset even though she was very friendly and professional. My pregnancy hormones took over my mouth when I opened it to order my drink and…

Yes! And that goes double with your friends. My roommate got waylaid by some douchebag at work yesterday who kept saying to him, “You should take your shirt off,” made comments about wanting to see my roommate’s dick, and then described in detail how he drinks the wine my roommate sells and masturbates every Sunday…

If we execute the food babe, will all the glute-tards revert back t normal human who realize they ate bread for decades before they heard of gluten?

Nah, I say go full Hammurabi on them. DEATH TO THEM AND THEIR HOUSEHOLD, AND SOW SALT ON THE GROUND.

See, also, “no, I’m sorry I can’t get you cappuccino, our steam nozzle is broken.”

I’ve joked on occasion that everyone working in the service industry should be able to kill a set number of customers per year with no repercussions. Say you had five allowed executions each year, and when you used one the cops came and officially marked one off. Customers would never know if a given server or cashier…

Pretty good Pinkham’s Law candidate.

Not really. I think most people would agree that steak, etc. is much better for a dinner date. More importantly the diner was being a jerk by requesting something off menu and at the wrong time of the day. The griddle is probably at a different temperature than it is for breakfast, and they probably don’t have mixed…

The brain, which we often think of as the source of higher thought and reason, is divided into various regions. One of these regions is the brainstem, which plays a vital role in the regulation of the body’s various functions such as breathing, metabolism, and locomotion.

If being gluten free and vegetarian means being able to eat bread and protein, then I’m the very definition of a gluten free vegetarian.

Actually, not necessarily true. I have many times warned customers away from a particular product. Usually it was actually because the product was bad.

It continues to amaze me that some customers think that people who professionally make coffee drinks don’t know how to make coffee drinks. Like a barista doesn’t know how to make a cappuccino?

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

Good heavens, I have had some really awkward ‘I think we really have something together’ conversations, but that might be the best.

Don’t forget the Sarah Palin smack down! “That is the ultimate bridge to nowhere.” !!!

Oh man, watching him own that little fuck face Paul Ryan in all the vice presidential debates was such a thing of a beauty.

My eye just twitched.