John Boehner
Feb 18

Jacked or not, Kumail is still a Would.

Jan 13

Am I the only person who actually likes living with their spouse? This would make me super sad.

Jan 8

You can’t believe it because you’re privileged enough not to have to deal with the actual issues that the people who are made to wear these sorts of uniforms in real life have to deal with, and you’re also not empathetic enough to understand the perspective of another fellow human being, and how such a thing might Read more

Dec 29

Thrillseeking, yes, but smart enough to be the one musical star who wasn’t in Cats. 

Dec 24

We used to joke and roll our eyes at the local paper I used to work at because the local police must have had super human smelling capabilities. Every DUI arrest report started with “The officer smelled a strong smell of alcohol coming from the vehicle.” No matter what the person’s BAC ended up being, it began with Read more

Nov 8

He can’t be a dildo, a dildo has a job!

Nov 7

Blackface, as shitty as it indeed is, is protected under the first amendment. That just means they can’t be legally arrested for it. It doesn’t protect someone from the social consequences of their actions.

Oct 31

Thank you for this, I have spent all morning looking for a website to tell me who won last night’s game.

Oct 30

A question for the Funbag: why should I keep reading anything on this website after Jim Spanfeller and Paul Maidment went to the lengths of firing Barry, like cowards, for the dumbest of reasons?

I want to support the writers here—this is both the best website that exists, and has ever existed, and the best sports Read more

Oct 16

I can only hear this in the Car Talk guys’ voices - “John Bugsy Lawler, back from the dominant, prominent, malcontent, nonevent, rubber cement, breach of trust with fraudulent intent pussy...”

Oct 8

Dude...She apologized to and received forgiveness from leadership of the tribe from which she claimed ancestry. Case closed.

Oct 3

The story is kids are being kids, ya turd.

Sep 30

People, Black people, Black people in Trump’s America in 2019, here in The Root, are advocating for a 12 yo girl, not even a young lady, to be beaten, have her head shaved for public humiliation and diagnosing her as having serious mental problems for telling a lie. Tell me how these Black people not only haven’t Read more

Sep 23 2019

The climate hysteria movement is not about science,” he said. “If it were about science, it would be led by scientists” Read more

Sep 20 2019

Or the one with the twins who THINK they are fraternal twins but it turns out there was an accident during one of their circumcisions and the parents decided to raise the child as a girl and once the twins find out they murder their doctor, but since they’re biological twins there is no way to determine who actually Read more

Sep 20 2019

As a survivor, I can safely say that Mariska Hargitay and Raul Esparza have more than once saved me from losing myself in the darkness of the aftermath of my assault. I will never not be grateful to the writers for this: “whether you’re a john in the South Bronx or a $3-million-a-year talk show host, no means no.”

Sep 20 2019

lesbian fanfiction, mariska, march and later michaela mcmanus. glad to know i wasnt just making things up. Read more

Sep 3 2019

Yes. People without education are less educated. Read more

May 27 2019

Hi thatredguy, I’m a story scout for a prominent podcast--would you mind emailing me at I would love to talk to you more about this. (Not spam, I swear!)