I can’t imagine being in my mid-20s and behaving like Tyga. Jesus Christ just stop.

It’s so sweet of you to worry about your mother. My boss at the library while I was in college was kind of like my college-mom. Over the span of the five years I worked there, her husband got sick, was basically in the hospital for four years until he passed away, and she was by his side that whole damn time. There…

I know kids are picky but I would be so humiliated if I ever said “MY CHILD DOESNT EAT GREEN FOOD!” that loudly in public.

Looooool right? this whole time it’s like, “that’s REALLY the argument you’re going with here? Really???!!!”

HamNo wishes he wrote this.

hahahaha, wow. absolutely. (Happy birthday!!!)

LOL Ikr? If there was ever a reason why.

Sorta... There are extras that we’re technically supposed to charge for, but most of us usually don’t. If you’ve made my night hell I am charging you for it.

I am so glad I’ve never worked for crazy corporate, because I love having the jurisdiction to tell people like you that they’ve overstayed their welcome/to turn the fuck around if you tried to come in 10 minutes before closing.

You need to flat out tell him you don’t want to be friends. Don’t be like, “because i’m an introvert~~~” or try to sugarcoat it for him. Or have a more emboldened friend do it for you.

That would be an amazing gift. I’m really trying to figure out what to get dude’s sister for her wedding. There’s no accessible registry! I don't know her! What do!

It sounds like your problem is maybe more with how you both handle your full schedules. Just tell him there are very tiny things he could do that would make your day infinitely better... when I’m swamped with work bullshit I usually pay to have food delivered to my friends so they can have a good time without me. Or…

It was the best time in internet history!

There once was a girl from livejournal who was a frequent ONTD commenter. She made this amazing fan video of the LOHAN-passed-out-paparazzi photos to some Ramones song. A few of us thought she had connections to the Coppola family.

Exaaaactly. You’re a grouchy ass couple and I can’t autograt you? The tip is going to be shit no matter how good your service is and I know this because you are rolling your eyes at me for doing my job. You’re getting huffy because I dared to ask you what you’d like to drink. You’re giving me shit because, dear god, I…

Awwww. At my current restaurant I get stiffed at least once a day if I’m working lunch. It’s because we’re close to a military base and military grunts stiff like a motherfucker.

JLaw why are you living MY best life? :( so infinitely jealous.

This is brilliant. I want to steal it.

Taraji is awesome. Cookie is flawless. Best part of Empire. Looking forward to the next season, now~

I’m pale as shit and I’ve got a face that goes from adult-child features to drag queen with lipstick and eyeliner. This is why I refuse mall/Sephora makeovers. The women I know who work there would NEVER force me into black for the sake of black, but they aren’t shy about admitting that some of their coworkers would.