For fucking real. Cooks and servers have the driest hands in the world because they wash them like 70 times a day.

As grim as this is I can’t stop laughing at “NOT FOR BABIES.”

Real pumpkin is delicious. Sludge pumpkin is delicious.

If someone doesn’t respond to you after the first Grand Gesture, it’s time to leave them the fuck alone.

I sent this to my sister because she was her sorority’s president and still goes to their events. She’s seen a lot of recruitment videos, and she hates them, but she said this one takes the cake for “so fucking white people, but believe me the others are pretty bad too.”

Even mo’

Mo’

Sarah Bonito is my faaaaaave

Disagree. For as much as homeboy talks... He just doesn’t cook much anymore. And that’s fine. I’m a huge fan of his. Massive. Probably the biggest. I have all of his shows on DVD, including the one where Bradley Cooper plays him. I even went to get Mai Tai’s with Penabler at Bourdain’s favorite bar in SF. Massive…

R u a MIDWEST/Chicago jezzie jw

Too much red wine and bourbon in my lifetime.

I had to take 5 tums after watching that.

I have a horrible gag reflex. I can’t even brush my teeth without gagging. I can actually vomit on command, no fingers down my throat required.

It’s one of my really bad drunk songs, too. :(

To implement ridiculous conservative policies? Or is she a white liberal with zero self-awareness?

I think I would hate fuck him without protection and then handcuff him to the bed for 12 hours as I forced him to watch me take both doses of Plan B.

I want to know because I just took a hangover day but I made it up. The population is 25-26 million-ish, and that includes babies who ought not drink nor work (but it’s Australia, who knows!) so what, .5-.7? Impressive!

how many hangover days is that per capita

Yeah, nothing beyond, “I will read this.”

I don’t really plan on partying before my wedding, but I would definitely go to Vegas shows and get drunk with my mom and girlfriends for no special reason. My mom can hang.