As u may have guessed politics is kind of my main thing. I fucking love election season AND I live in Ohio. THAT’S HOW MUCH I LOVE.

That is horrible and badass I love it.

That’s the general rule everywhere, but this is an old woman who Could Not Kick An Ass, and she made someone’s mother cry. The adult-kid is probably going to interject.

Right?! If someone tried to degrade my mother like that (and it’s kind of happened once before and you really don’t want to know about the aftermath from that because I am ashamed) I would slaughter them. Fuck your aging brain cells, if you make my mom feel like anything less than the wonderful woman she is I will gut…

I don’t know how Carlos isn’t ripping her awful senile head off. He is being way more polite than I would be capable of.

Robin, just let that 20 year old be 20.

ETA: I did a few shitty things when I was drunk, but I was also like between 15-18. I think I called my dad a dickweed once and also I punched my roommate’s banned-from-the-apartment-ex for being in the apartment. Stuff like that. And one time I puked forever because it was my first time drinking and I had no idea you…

I’m mid-20s and I still have no tolerance for this shit. Screaming and falling over drunk? Gross. Boning in public? Gross.

Jeb Lund (Gawker’s 2012 election coverage dude) is live blogging it at the Guardian. He is fucking hilarious, but a drinking game would be nice.

SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHG

DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT WEEZER

eeeewwwwwwww

I don’t mind chocolate milk for adults because they usually only drink one. And if you’re getting Dirty Shirleys that’s TOTALLY COOL because you’re being charged for each one and you’re going to tip accordingly. But when parents have a bunch of shithead preteens that chug like 2000 calories worth of Shirley Temples…

For fucking real just get it on the rocks like a normal fucking person.

If it’s really busy, your server/bartender is going to try to avoid making mixed, refillable soft drinks. Having to make 10 chocolate milks or Shirley Temples over and over again is a ginormous pain in the ass.

LOL RIGHT I meani could make it, but fuck your ass for thinking I'm not going to lie about my ability to make it during rush

Oh God if you are the friend of one of these assholes, if you don’t speak up you are compliscent. Give your roommate a high five or a hug for enduring that shit without snapping.

A Shirley temple? Sorry, we’re out of grenadine.

A gentle “two fingers up” and a slight nod with eye contact will get your server’s attention without dehumanizing them. It’s my personal preference. You can do it at other servers, too, but it’s awesome if you can remember your server’s name and ask the server-that-is-not-yours to let the server-that-is-yours know…

LOL yes I pull that shit all of the time. I’ll always recommend the thing that takes the least amount of work for me haaaahahaga.