I can’t believe that you watched the Simple Life, because if you had watched it and you had a normal amount of brain cells, you’d realize that Hilton and Richie were parodying themselves the whole time.

A prank is waiting outside of your friend’s work with a water balloon.

But blueberries and bourbon...

Ewww, they were in their late 40s and I was a teen :(

“Take my shame away” is the best response to this whole debate

Thank you! As someone who is pretty-well recovering from years of anorexia/bulimia, I am terrified of what becoming pregnant will do to me. I’m terrified of giving birth, I’m terrified of the changes to my body that will come, and I’m terrified that I’ll resent my future-child for what it’s done to my body. Every time…

I’ve been telling him that a website that has feminist tendencies from time to time is appreciating his dad joke, and he is so confused but complimented. “I didn’t even do anything? Can you shut up while I’m at the doctor?” “NO I CANT.” “Are you trying to make up for missing father’s day?” “Yes.”

But short hair only highlights how beautiful a face is. And this is coming from someone that went from a shaved head to mermaid hair. I never felt more beautiful with way less effort than when I did with half an inch of hair, and I suspect it’s the same for a lot of women.

LOFUCKINGL spot on.

LOL he is. There is no foreseeable divorce in their future. God how pathetic that text would have been if he was actually preparing for a divorce.

Do you guys ever wonder what it’s like to be on the wrong side of history? Like how embarrassing the four dissenting justices are going to be to their grandchildren (if they aren’t already?)

He only did it because she called ME a cunt.

This is a super fucking old religious tradition. It takes hundreds of years for this to change, and whether or not you like it there are over a billion Catholics in this world. Catholics are supposed to be socialists, economically, but Francis has done SO MUCH to turn around the Church’s views on social issues without…

Oh man, you’ve gotta be so careful with it with such a simple band. Can’t wash your hands with it, can’t shower with it! I’m also one of those people that treats their jewelry like shit, and the majority of it is pearls so I’m expecting to drop a 2000 dollar MIKIMOTO Pearl (and yes, literally 2000 that is not a typo…

Really, people just like to have a clean table. I always always ask, “Sorry to interrupt, Is there anything you would like me to clear for you?” 999/1000 I get answered with absolute kindness and a “yes, thank you so much!”

This guy is awesome. I just want to buy his music and probably never listen to it. Donald Trump is fucking disgusting, and I hate the negative stereotypes Mexicans have because it literally could not be more the opposite of reality.

Pearls are the prettiest, but they need a special (omg special autocorrected into sexual) band to make them pop imho.

You make me so ashamed that my doge (he turns 5 today!) is AKC registered as Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. :(

When I saw the headline I thought that there was no way I wasn’t going to laugh at this piece. (I actually didn’t laugh at it though! Must be frustrating to have a sexy-fantasy that you can only POTENTIALLY fulfill during such a specific timeframe)

In the comments, everyone who says they don’t want their plates taken away until their entire table is finished eating—- They are being an INCREDIBLY vocal EXTREME minority. They’re definitely the oddballs. Someone might make the point of not having their plates removed once in a server’s career.