Probably not verbatim, but very close! she really did call me a cunt, and he really did call her a cunt in my defense. And then he DID ask about a smokers patio in the same breath hahaha.

Yes, which is why it was so shocking! I just couldn't believe it. I shiver whenever I hear my sister say the word CUNT. Having a stranger call me one for DOING MY JOB?

THOSE PEOPLE EXIST AND THEY ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD.

Ehhh, it’s what’s supposed to happen. I guess your food has always been perfect, but after one bite, I can see the inside of the steak is rare instead of the medium well the customer asked for. That quick check, “sorry to interrupt” is what makes sure ALL of our customers get the food they want.

I am the slowest of slow eaters. I do not feel rushed.

To my non-restaurant bff: If you go out with your fiancé and you finish before him, do you want your plate to be taken away?

This is unrelated to the entirety of this post, but this motherfucker keeps banging his credit card on the bar for the bartenders attention. He’s also blocking her and her barback’s entrance. I just feel the need to publicly shame him.

Right? It’s so standard! Like we’re kind of trained to know “if a woman scarfs up her meal before her dude date, wait a few minutes to make it less obvious” that’s a thing bussers in fine dining are trained to respect.

LO-FUCKING-L that’s exactly what it was and it was glorious.

Does this motherfucker not understand that this is what WE ARE EXPECTED TO DO BY EVERY CUSTOMER? Every time you complain about us taking away your dirty dishes, we get complained at 500 times more for not removing fucking garbage. You OCD weirdshits.

I have a regular customer who is one of the most difficult dudes in the world, but he tips decently and his behavior is purely on him, not me when he walks up to me to ask for more shit when I’m with another table. He also just always walks in and seats himself, no matter how busy it is. He’s really fit, and I always…

That’s absolutely fine. We don’t want you to be uncomfortable so it’s best you should leave.

One of our hosts would constantly order food and check out into the break room for a half hour during the dinner rush. We were like, honey we know you are 17 and we love you but for real you can NOT be that stupid?

Oh fucking BOO. :( I hope he got married.

Who gave you the talking-to?!

Not in any place I’ve ever worked at. I’ve never worked anywhere corporate, though. Just mom and pops and fine dining. Management would KILL a host for seating a table after the restaurant had shut down, and making them lose an extra 300 in employee wages for what’s going to be a 60 dollar dinner of like, drunk…

Want more details!

I mean, if it’s obviously slow, just ask. If it really makes a difference to you, there’s not too much harm. It just sucks for the servers and host because they’re getting thrown out of rotation. A server will feel slighted (especially on a slow night, because they’re missing an opportunity to make money) until they…

Honestly, if he tips well enough so that the server is getting bumped up to $15 or so an hour if you’re the only table the server is waiting on, most of us will be pretty forgiving. Also, calling ahead will make them VERY happy. Knowing at 10:15 that you aren’t getting more than 6 hours of sleep before your day begins…

Don’t worry, it’s a totally normal question for non-restaurant folk. That’s why I’ve always appreciated working at places that say, “Restaurant open until this time, Kitchen closes at an hour earlier.” If you expect to eat in a properly sanitized restaurant then the entire closing process can take up to an hour.