Omg. The girl I work with, EMMA. I wrote about her here before! She’s the one who showed our customers a picture her friend took of one of our classmates on fire (struck by lightning).

Like I think it's bullshit that the school did that, HOWEVER I would have loved that punishment.

Did her parents do it or did the school?!

Anyone else make it through high school without having their picture taken? I did so well until KELLEY GORNIAK was on yearbook (Hi Kelley I love you) and had a picture of me published somewhere in that stupid thing.

I... no...

“how would you measure that aggression, in bear?”

Mark, I am a pervert. Which is why I love everything you write. This might be the greatest thing you’ve ever shared, tho.

Holy shit I wasn't the only one? Are you my soulmate?

It took me a year to come back after I made fun of Kate Dries, so good luck!

I could stick around and get along with Kit, hello~

Whhhyyyyy the fuck do you caaaaaaaaaaaaaare

“BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT A DOG”

“And he has a history of running red lights and stop signs. In a beige Buick.”

My ex’s stepmom always kept a pair of Bostons. I actually really liked them! Their flatulance was almost part of their charm?

Also Boston Terriers are so farty and gross.

In my still-drunk morning mind (shut up I have today off) I mistook THERAPY for SERVICE and I was like, that’s strange but I guess I can understand the need for service dogs to look like service dogs so that businesses take them serio—- Oh my god it’s a therapy dog for patients. Why is this happening that would bring…

It’s great to watch on the internet but this kind of shit would send me into a full blown panic attack irl. (I can’t help how my body responds to obnoxious shit like this)

But it does work (poorly) for her rape deniers, is the thing. They’re going to eat this up, and now we’re (we as in, the audience that trusts her) are going to have to explain to the fedora wearing masses that a woman who releases her consenting violent sex tape is still rape-able.

That is SUCH. A good point. I haven’t had to sift through a photo album in 7 years. The last time someone tried, they were showing me facebook pictures on their phone and I was able to be like “Hey i’ll check them out later please don’t hijack this party where 100 friends and family traveled from all over the world to…

Do it. Some people will find it boring, but a lot of us will find it precious.