Oh man, you would be surprised.

MTE, you’re more likely to NOT have your tip added. If we’re dealing with a POS that involves management having to enter in the tips (because when management has never been a server, they give zero fucks about this), I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to be like BOSS YOU MISSED THAT 30 DOLLAR TIP.

GIRL, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU LIVE? THOSE OLD WHITE PEOPLE POUR OVER THEIR RECEIPTS AND CREDIT CARD STATEMENTS WITH FALCON VISION.

Well, you’re right, but the context and setting matter. If it wasn’t obviously very busy there, if it wasn’t over something so petty, then maybe. If you just want to get the fuck out with your coffee, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” The manager is going batshit insane, trying to reason with her isn’t going…

“I used to donate blood to get free cookies” is SO MUCH CUTER than my counterpart, “I used to donate plasma so I could have beer money.”

Whale cam, clam cam, turtle cam, what other CAMS am I missing from Revenge?

I got one about the time my uncle was a dick to a celebrity! My uncle was doing computer shit in Olivier Sarkozy’s office. He noticed a picture in Sarkozy’s office and told him his daughter looked like one of the Olsen twins.

Oh ew

How many acts of a birthday celebration does it take to constitute a birthday celebration?

This isn’t saying much, but on Gilmore Girls she routinely was the brilliant comedic relief to otherwise dramatic plots (and I actually can’t recall a time her appearance was used for a joke on the show, but it’s been a LONG TIME since I watched so feel free to correct me, people). She also flourished during the rare…

Bahahaha that’s on them, not you.

NOW JUST DO THE SAME FOR A NOLAN ROSS/REVENGE SPIN-OFF

All the money in the world and this. Clothing sizes exist because most of us can’t afford tailor-made. GIRL, YOU CAN.

Bless this post

Acid reflux booted up again tbh

In the middle of sexting:

HERE SHE IS, MISS AMERICAN TEEN PRINCESS.

The context is really the most important/awkward part.

I only watch it when it comes on my Hulu+ feed randomly. (Hulu will start playing episodes of other TV shows if you’ve just finished the latest episode of whatever you’re watching).

But Retta u wouldn't like the smell of my gin sweat