It finally happened. We can finally, legitimately use this gag straight up:

I mean, if the DNC had just done the smart thing and made him chair instead of Perez or Ellison we’d all probably be better off- the party would have smart tailored messaging and infrastructure; the primary would be less prolonged and Buttigieg would have been able to rise to a more significant position than midsized…

Andrew, I do not know you but I believe I received this email accidentally. Please unsubscribe me. 

Please take me off this mailing list.

“Stop hitting ‘reply-all’.”

I look forward to the eventual Reply-All-pocalypse. 

I gotta give you credit, you set up this joke perfectly and the punchline absolutely delivered. 10/10, would tell you to shut the fuck up again.

I feel like it won’t work this time because the Democrats (and the media, it seems) finally aren’t playing along with this bullshit. Did everyone just fucking snap finally?

Impeaching Trump lets nobody off the fucking hook! If anything, it proves that they voted in a fucking criminal and a charlatan. Beyond that, there’s a good fucking chance he’ll get re-elected. No Comey... when the President beaks the fucking law, you hold him fucking accountable! Jesus Christ.

And a lot of his supporters would think some sort of coup had taken place,” Comey said.

 unknowingly showed his dong

Naaah, he’ll never do it. He’ll keep saying “I’d love to release the transcript.” “I’m looking forward to releasing the transcript,” he’ll say. “I hope to release the transcript very soon,” he’ll say. “I’ll be happy to release the transcript as soon as you open another DOJ investigation into Hillary Clinton’s…

“Time wasting” is exactly what you want here. This impeachment is never getting out of the Senate. I’m not even convinced Mitch McConnell won’t pull some obscure procedural nonsense that prevents the Senate from even voting on a conviction.

no I splash potato salad into my leftover spaghetti

While we still have Will Smith, we still have hope.

I doubt it. There are two Democrats in the Indiana congressional delegation, and I doubt any ambitious Democratic would want to be defending one of the few available seats every two years. Pete’s best bet, if he doesn’t win the nomination outright, is to get an appointment in the next Democratic administration and…

“We knew people had died there, but it was the ‘80s” is the best synopsis of that decade I can think of.

“The thing that Pelosi’s never seemed to understand was Trump was not going to stop committing impeachable offenses.”

Calm down, I am sure Haskins will be out there and break his leg soon enough.

It’s really shitty when people say, “Well I pay a lot more so they should as well”. Bullshit. Companies have been eroding employee benefits for years now, while shareholders profit handsomely and none of this “trickles down” to raise wages, which would help at least offset higher costs.