I maintain that Tom Cruise’s best acting of his career is in Tropic Thunder.

You will need a screwdriver, a pair of tweezers, a magnifying glass (optional), some salt (~1tbsp), and a bag of chicken feed, preferably corn-based.

Now I want a lettuce wrap, and I am a committed carnivore.

Why is he still a thing? He’s been useless and toxic for years.

The only thing Steve Harvey is good for is making me miss Bernie Mac.

I looked it up on PorhHub and ... well, just don’t do that.

The “deep state spear” is Newt’s biggest fear and the terror that keeps him up at night: A big ol’ gay liberal dong that thrusts deep into the ‘Murican dream and pumps it full of rainbows and compassion. Oh! And the dong is black, and thinks that women should be allowed to vote.

A+ invocation of Prince John.

I’m hoping for AG Jeff Goldblum.

Nothing to dispute about this video

Lynda Carter is 65 years old.

The greatest thing about Al Franken (among so many great things) is that sometimes, if you call and leave a message for his office regarding a specific thing, he calls you back. It happened to me once, no lie, and we chatted for about 5 minutes before he thanked me for my engagement and promised to keep my point of…

Charley-boy better be careful, I think Shaq is still a sworn deputy in some jurisdictions and I believe is running for sheriff somewhere. A lot of places have just made assault on police officers a hate crime.

Fortunately, I know a set of daily affirmations Ted can use to combat all the hate. Grab a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and repeat the following:

We had some significant rain (for us at least) this season. At one point highway 1 and 17 were both out, and people in Santa Cruz were literally stuck for a few days I believe. N. California got it much worse, I think it was like 6' of rain this year for Santa Cruz. Down here in the South, our annual average is…

Trump: Holt?
Holt: Yes, Donald?
Trump: Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?
Holt: Well, I can’t say I have, Donald.
Trump: Vodka, that’s what they drink, isn’t it? Never water?
Holt: Well, I-I believe that’s what they drink, Donald, yes.
Trump: On no account will a Commie ever drink water, and not…

Aaaand we’re officially at precious bodily fluids level of crazy....

“Science is...whatever we want it to be.” -Dr. Spaceman

“The human body is like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted.”