*writes up business plan for Black Truffles Matter Café*

Sometimes when I see ridiculous commercials, I try to imagine what that pitch meeting must have been like, and I feel like the phrase “protest is the new brunch” was uttered in this one.

Naw man, Elcor romance options is where it’s at

What about those of us that want to fuck a Krogan? Or a Salarian?

My first mission with the new ME....not animation issue but pretty bad in my opinion

Want to replace your spark plugs or head gasket on your HD Ford truck?

(done in Kerrigan’s tearful voice)

If the only PBS show you can cite to defend against Trump’s cuts is the one show that was drowning in red under Obama and now on premium cable, then you need to work on your arguments.

Having fun isn’t hard, when you’ve got the nuclear codes.

Can we stop using Sesame Street as the PBS poster child? It’s an HBO show now. And the PBS cuts won’t affect it in the least. If PBS disappeared tomorrow, Sesame Street would still get made because its main funding comes from licensing and merchandise sales.

Comparing Trump to garbage seems kind of disrespectful to garbage.

What about the sugar cookies?!? Can we still have those?!?

A Zelda game is never late. Nor is it early. It arrives precisely when it means to.

He probably has a fuelshark plugged in.

Catalytic converters aren’t actually a thing. What people mean to say is Cadillac converter which is a device GM has to put on cars that share bodies between brands to make them a Cadillac. So when you take the same basic frame of a Chevy Tahoe you have to add a Cadillac converter to make it an Escalade.

Miss Fritter... the school bus... is wearing a “crazy collection of her victims’ license plates”.

This post gets a stamp of approval from me, an apparently humorless feminist who was pissed at this morning’s posts.

Ben Carson used to confuse the fuck out of me. Then I saw ‘Get Out’, and NOW he makes sense.