Sentiments like this are the reason why you’re going to die alone.

The idea of criminal conspiracy is so broad that I could literally convict a ham sandwich and a bag of chips of conspiracy to anything right now.

The best guitar song on the 90s’ best guitar album:

The tenant does need a place to live, homie. The scales of power certainly favor one side

Sigh. Do you have any coherent justification why Trump would remove the heads of the NNSA without appointing a successor, or are you incapable of providing a coherent response? You dolt.

The longest, most luxurious stream of urine.

So another day passes, and yet the huddled masses yearn for a coherent response.

So, the answer is no. Right? You have no coherent response.

Do you have anything productive to add to the conversation, or are you too busy cleaning your seed out of your keyboard? If the former, please start by citing at least one coherent defense to this latest action. If the latter, the tissues are down the hall and to the right.

That’s, like, the entire argument, actually.

Granted, when you’re already blindfolded and being fucked in the ass, it’s kinda hard to tell whose penis is inside you.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words require a police escort.

“Aren’t they?”

But where is the chorus of old white guys calling him unprofessional, or petulant, or a bad role model, or something vaguely racist?

Counterpoint: We haven’t even hit the All Star break. Give it time.

Has it been five minutes yet?

...And offense wins Championpretzels, while special teams wins Championcheeseandcrackers.

I always knew Jerry was a nut, but using your former-franchise QB to reenact a Grimm’s Fairy Tale takes it about two steps too far.

Note to future generations: Please send us photos. We’ll trade you some pandas.

“Me too.”