That seems needlessly myopic. There are multiple mental illnesses where treatment noncompliance is more common than compliance, for a variety of reasons, often lack of treatment efficacy, intolerable side effects, or as a symptom itself.

The AIDS wing in one of the pioneering cities of HIV/AIDS treatment has closed due to lack of need. I think we’re doing pretty well in North America (though there are still highly marginalized communities that are fighting stigma and discrimination and who face higher morbidity and mortality due to it).

Awww your partnership sounds wonderful. Hopefully it doesn’t come to going into the underworld, though.

I very firmly believe that the person who literally gestates and births a human gets the final say on the last name. They are the cause of this tiny human being alive.

So a woman wanting you to take her name would be engaging in “metaphorical dick measuring” but her taking your name would be nice.

Seriously. You gestate and birth a whole human? You get to decide their last name.

My parents thought about combining but that would have been Marx and Sparks Gross so they gave up on it.

Why are you crushed? Would you be crushed by your daughter changing her last name? Did your wife take your name? Were you crushed by that?

I like this logic! I propose we share it with all married men who haven’t changed their name.

And yet there are all these cultures all over the world where the family unit is tied together just fine and the woman isn’t expected to literally give up part of her identity.

I have had more than one feminist friend take their husband’s name and I was incredibly dismayed. There’s always some convoluted reasoning that doesn’t actually stand up to any rigorous thinking. My name is literally part of my identity (never mind that I have public successes associated with my name). I would…

It’s so unwieldy that entire cultures do it with no problem!

I don’t think that’s a reason to not do it. Being on the side of equality means dealing with other people’s bullshit and I think it’s high time for men to take on some of that bullshit.

I firmly believe that literally growing and birthing a human means the baby gets the pregnant person’s last name if that’s what they want. (Also, I have my mom’s last name and it’s fine. It’s easier to spell, it sounds better with my first name, and I like that it bucks the patriarchal bullshit.)

Beyond my feminist politics, which say dudes can take our names or they can shut the fuck up, it’s so much easier to do nothing than to do something.

Why oxy?

Forgiving the woman for using the tools of a racist state to control harmless behaviour? Forgiving the woman for literally risking their lives, because that’s what calling the cops on Black people in the US is?

What.

Oooh this is so good. I’m going to put it in my back pocket, too.

“I’d appreciate it if you don’t talk about my body, thanks. Anyway, how are Jimmy’s oboe lessons going?”