When asked how he got away, Chapman stated that "I gotta fast car."

Tries to extort a 20yr old college student for $7 million .... and I'm unprofessional

That doesn't sound so bad as long as Ponder keeps handing the reins back to Adr...Oh.

Even if I humorously insulted Peter King I don't think I'd let anyone know I followed him on twitter.

It would make life easier for everyone, frankly.

"This has 2b rock bottom."

Dammit, I came here to post this in the comments.

If this doesn't improve his image I imagine there will be hell toupee.

Are our college football players UN ambassadors?

Lesson for the day: saying, "Fuck her right in the pussy," isn't ok, but actually doing it without her consent is.

I was really hoping the heckler was John Rocker.

They should just call it "Septembeer"

They'd be so disappointed with me and my friend Mirena.

You can sue people for tricking you into drinking piss? You're mine, Anheuser-Bush.

He's clearly tired of dealing with the problems associated with fame and just wanted to be Regula.

Our suggestion isn't that she has butt implants, it's that she's wearing a fake butt.

Implants on both ends? I believe that procedure comes with a free KFC Double-Down.

Embarrassing. Their mother raised them better than this.

Floyd Mayweather Jr.: Only God can judge me.