What are we working with here? Post-nasal drip? A deviated septum?

If an @spencerlanding twitter account wasn't set up in the last four days, we can all kick ourselves.

Forgive me. I obviously should've said "our" Hose. Gawker Media should be proud to have the contributions of two of PC's finest.

And here's to you, Teddy Robinson. Jesus loves you more, oh never mind. Oh never mind.

Any love for my Hose is a good thing. Especially with NC State and Ole Miss on the schedule this season.

Secretary: Mr. Goodell, Congress has given you another opportunity to step on your dick. Your calendar is filling up.

Chuck Todd sees your interest and accepts the offer. As soon as you're, you know, up to it.

Tomorrow seems like a bad day for that.

"We're only buying top quality hair products from now on, honey! Our ship has come in." - Michael Diamondstein

For sure, amigo.

Pretty soon we'll find out that Goodell was on the elevator with them, just out of view of the camera. Perhaps that's the only way this story gets any worse.

I don't have any jokes for this. Pass.

Liar, liar, league on fire.

The NFL Twilight Red Zone, brought to you by the law firm of Michael Diamondstein, with theme music by the Spin Doctors.

Of all the problems I have with this thing, the biggest may be that it doesn't appear to hold enough of either the snack or the drink to suffice. I mean, some of those Stacy's Pita Chips are huge. Plus, they're only going to make you thirsty. That container on the bottom is barely big enough for a urine drug screen,…

I have hazy memories from college about lots of things, but particularly something called K Cider. I had forgotten about it until reading this article. I remember it being a little dry, which was appealing, and in black bottles. That was a dozen or so years ago, and I can't recall having seen it since then. I'll be on…

Which begs the question, what are you "smokin Jay?"

Wait, you claim they're eating themselves, yet I read no reference to yoga, leaning upside down against a wall, or the removal of one or more ribs. Click bait at its worst, "Tom Ley!"

"We had an outpouring of women saying, 'Oh my god, I didn't realize this happened to other people.'"

If the kids today know anything about U2, it's that damn Beautiful Day song, and even that's a stretch. What a shame. At least REM faded out slowly, and they - even at their peak - didn't achieve U2 status. For my money, it's hard to beat Achtung Baby.