You can find people physically attractive and not screw them. Especially if you’re 40 years older and their boss.

Jinkx is v. talented but lacks the outrageous star quality Alooska possesses.

I didn’t catch the boquet at my cousin’s wedding (I was maid of honor, woo) but I DID catch the garter, as there were only 2 single men attending. My ma got mad.

ALASKA WAS ROBBED

I knew a guy who was conceived by rape. He was still pro-choice.

♡♡♡

Mono means one, and rail means rail!

The dress reminds me of RuPaul.

Blac Chyna reminds me of myself not so long ago, despite the fact she is older than I am. I take solace in the fact crazy jealous ex sheenanigans are a common experience, and I love her for it.

OK, well Nicole Richie is not exactly a movie star, or always blonde, but you know what I mean.

Man, who ever thought the brothers from Good Charlotte would marry blonde movie stars? So Cam Diaz and Nicole Richie are sister in laws, weird.

Shame who Mike Einziger is hanging around with these days.

I have become desky also. Doesn’t help my work has a stocked kitchen. Last night I looked at a picture of myself in a bikini from last summer. I am undoubtedly more doughy around the middle and my upper arms- but I am much happier, have the money to actually eat, and not strung out on amphetamines. So I will take it.

Damn near the only free entertainment available!

Her mouth is FULL OF BLOOD

My mom would always get real mad when my dad played this song. Hah!

That man is a damn fine citizen. I wish we were all a little bit more like him.

Yes. This is why I do not wear them. I need to be able to get my ass out of situations, and fast!

THAT’S CELLULITE??

Now art and rhinestones aren’t enough, we need literal jewelry hanging off our fingernails. Christ alive.