""I went out and seeked help," Cooper said."

Harper is such a bitch.

Because it's Nationals policy to infantalize its superstars? The mean old man who drilled him is 22.

Someone should tell them about girls.

You know what the hardest part about rollerblading is? Telling your parents you're gay.

I was really looking forward to all the mock executions when everyone scored against the patriots.

We'll see if the evidence sticks.

Well of course he failed. He forgot to shout, "That's my purse! I don't know you!"

Add Will Ferrell as a competing southern ex-NFL coach and I'd watch an entire movie of that.

It is pretty much only racist white people on Twitter. Everyone knows black people only use Twitta.

Shit, that is frightening.
I hope it doesn't happen.

With the Sixers coaching vacancy, there actually has been local demand for Mo Cheeks.

As a Phils fan I want to argue with you. But I can't.

A lot of white guys in Philly making asses of themselves around black dudes these days.

He should have known something was up when the guard handed him a TMZ legal pad .

Smugness oozing from every pore.

Later, at the Eagles practice facility: "I will apologize to every nigger here."

Yes, Zynga. Calling it anything "With Friends" might create a lot of confusion. Like that time you completely stole Scrabble and called it Words With Friends.

Honestly - with this much creativity, how can he not have a bus with the #36 driving through the tunnel?

That's the most hardcore outsourcing I've seen to date. Zynga just beat EA with their Indian slaves.