Dick Cheney shot a white, rich Republican, in the face, and then the guy he shot APOLOGIZED TO CHENEY for how awful Cheney must have felt about it.

... It’s generally a bad idea to blame victims for using whatever coping mechanisms they have available to them. Lots of people cope with the trauma of rape by trying to redefine it as consensual. Ending a friendship over that is a little bit like being mad at someone who’s drowning for splashing too much.

Ugh. I give you sympathy. This is why there are statutory rape laws.

She said no and froze like a corpse. It’s not like he was special needs. I am sure he gathered she was not into it. He ignored her no and hours of pushing away. Rape is rape and no means no. We shouldn’t have to worry about how to make it easier for the rapist.

i must say — throughout the whole process of editing this piece, which i think is really wonderful, it did not occur to me that “was it raped” (which of course is the title, the lede and the center of this) was being asked of anyone but the writer

Hey friend, seek help. Your brain is broken.

Ugh. The bit about calling the ex, like asking permission to be admitted to the ex’s “property”.

And fuck you.

She said no repeatedly. She never consented, she never assented (as someone points out in another comment). Lying there and not participating in the sexual encounter is a clear sign of discomfort and not consenting. Rape looks like this too. If she was “being coy” she would have participated or responded to the…

I just sat there and dealt with it. I figured once he saw I’d be as responsive as a corpse, he’d give up.

If there is a woman alive who has not had this experience, I’d like to meet her, because she is a rare, rare creature. I’m so grateful to you for sharing your story and elaborating on the complexity of consent. So many people want to make it a black-and-white, yes-or-no issue, and the more people who stand up and say…

Thank you! I don’t know why we talk about “fight or flight” but never freeze, which is far more common.

This is why people (rightly) promote the “enthusiastic consent” standard!

I remember teaching this during training at work, and so many of the men just got looks on their faces like "I've done that before."

The author said no many times and never gave consent. This is rape.

Because they can.

Yeah, that is really fucked up, too. But don’t forget that Avery has an IQ of 70 and therefore is also mentally challenged. That IQ makes him inelligible for the death penalty in many states.

Thank you. People keep conflating the two, along with the idea that planted evidence = cops killed her and framed him.

Well we know they don’t lose sleep over anything, including coercing a mentally slow teenager into a false confession, so let’s not take that as proof that he did the right thing or that it must mean the right man is behind bars.

Funny how they are so certain of his guilt, and yet their best “damning” evidence is circumstantial and does nothing to connect victim + suspect + crime scene, nor does it fill in huge gaps in evidence like no blood stains or Halbach’s DNA anywhere.