I never talked to them again. And I barely talked to the friend who was like, “Well, sometimes people fake things...” after that incident. We don’t talk anymore because she was a raging bitch. But it is criminal. Which is why even if I am almost 100% someone is faking, I just stay the hell out of it and assume the…

I also knew an account of this experience was coming, because people are terrible. Food allergies are A Thing, morons, doctors say so and everything. FFS, even the batshit conspiracy “health” websites that push massive vitamin overdoses and want to ban vaccines because of TEH TOXINS recognise that food allergies exist…

I will never understand arseholes who think it’s hilarious to give people adulterated food. Hur hur, imma slip this person something they have a deep personal commitment to not eating and laugh at them getting really upset when I tell them about it! And then I’ll get offended when that person refuses to accept so much…

in my comparative religions class in high school we spent 90% of the class watching little mosque on the prairie

I’m sure someone will point out that this woman chose life, lives she couldn’t care for and the system has now put her in jail for it. Good going world. Also, IUDs for everyone!!!

The Daily Caller finds themselves predictably outraged that the incident is being investigated as a hate crime, calling it a “prank”

This is the trifecta of stupid: (1) racist, (2) hateful and (3) a waste of bacon.

For sure. When I was an undergrad in the mid-Cretaceous, one of the dimmer bulbs on the floor hung a strip of raw bacon on the doorknob of one of his many frenemies, thinking that because the bacon-ee was Jewish, this would be hilarious. The recipient of the gift (who did not keep kosher, and AFAIK occasionally ate…

And kind of really a piece of shit.

Since when is it forbidden to touch it? I’m muslim and I never heard of such thing... Also, I must repeat : pork is no kryptonite to us. Really. Save it for your lunch, it’d be of better use !

He was (and no doubt still is) kind of really fucking racist.

...kind of?

I’m sorry for laughing. It’s like what a middle school student would think would be SUPER OFFENSIVE to Muslims and it’s seriously so juvenile and I feel like a kid for laughing at it. I’m happy the dude was like “Actually this is p comical.”

I recently read some shitbird rando on Facebook say that this was “just a prank” within spitting distance of having just said that saying “Happy Holidays” is the same as commiting a hate crime. I dunno about this Jesus person, but some of his followers really need to be taken down a peg.

That anti-Islamic people continue to think that bacon is to Muslims as kryptonite is to Superman is so hilarious.

Great. Can I wrap a used tampon around the door to a gun shop?

It makes me wonder what they’re like to their friends, to their families, to their coworkers. If they met me at a party, would they laugh in my face?

I’m so glad you’re a writer here now! This is the first of your articles that I’ve read and I can’t wait to read more of your work.

Yep. I’m thinking it’s a guy who never spoke to her in high school yet got angry because she never noticed him. He feels like he gets to reject her now because “tee hee she got fat!”

This is such a great piece, kudos to you for taking this asshattery and writing about it with such intelligence and good humour.