...continuing through 2011, I and others on the FIFA executive committee agreed to accept bribes in conjunction with the selection of South Africa as the host nation for the 2010 World Cup.

Blazer and Sepp

Best Odd Couple reboot idea ever.

Calling Deadspin LLP — isn’t the FCPA (and the even more onerous UK anti-bribery act) lurking over this like a dark cloud? Are people at Nike, Adidas, and ESPN losing sleep over this shit?

Chuck Blazer Took Bribes for World Cup Votes

Chuck Blazer Admits Taking Yearly Bribes Of Cookies And Milk From Hopeful Children The World Over

Ha haaa haaaaaa! Wow....

His dick smells like onions and he nearly suffocated. Both those items need instructions.

Mo-Leicester City?

Putin’s checkbook, McOil

Towards the end of his speech, Blatter gets charged up while talking about his responsibility to FIFA.

I’ve been drinking Four Roses cask strength and I’m a cynic so here’s my cynical, drunken, not researched opinion.

Really, Billy Haisley? Blatter seems cute and charming? He makes us believe he deserves his power? ...Yeeeeah, I guess, if by charming you mean like a charmingly evil Bond villain. You hear “that cute little accent,” I hear “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!”

Platini’s son is also a lawyer for a sports marketing firm owned by... Qatar!

I almost did a spit take reading an article saying FIFA should take cues from the IOC on how to “clean house”. The IOC. Seriously.

France Football said that Mr Platini – a star of the France team of the 1980s – came under pressure at the lunch to switch his vote from the United States to Qatar. In exchange, the magazine alleged, the Qataris discussed the possibility that they would buy Paris Saint-Germain and create a new TV sports channel in…

His acceptance and closing speech were crazy crazy. I posted on facebook: If Sepp Blatter was saying this sitting around the Thanksgiving table, I’d think, “Looks like grandpa has finally lost it.”

Not kidding. This is not funny, there’s no jokes that work for me about this guy. Ray Rice is blackballed, and this guy just keeps going? I can’t stand it. I can not fucking stand it.

RoShembo!