Ha haaa haaaaaa! Wow....

His dick smells like onions and he nearly suffocated. Both those items need instructions.

Mo-Leicester City?

Putin’s checkbook, McOil

Towards the end of his speech, Blatter gets charged up while talking about his responsibility to FIFA.

I’ve been drinking Four Roses cask strength and I’m a cynic so here’s my cynical, drunken, not researched opinion.

Really, Billy Haisley? Blatter seems cute and charming? He makes us believe he deserves his power? ...Yeeeeah, I guess, if by charming you mean like a charmingly evil Bond villain. You hear “that cute little accent,” I hear “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!”

Platini’s son is also a lawyer for a sports marketing firm owned by... Qatar!

I almost did a spit take reading an article saying FIFA should take cues from the IOC on how to “clean house”. The IOC. Seriously.

France Football said that Mr Platini – a star of the France team of the 1980s – came under pressure at the lunch to switch his vote from the United States to Qatar. In exchange, the magazine alleged, the Qataris discussed the possibility that they would buy Paris Saint-Germain and create a new TV sports channel in…

His acceptance and closing speech were crazy crazy. I posted on facebook: If Sepp Blatter was saying this sitting around the Thanksgiving table, I’d think, “Looks like grandpa has finally lost it.”

Not kidding. This is not funny, there’s no jokes that work for me about this guy. Ray Rice is blackballed, and this guy just keeps going? I can’t stand it. I can not fucking stand it.

RoShembo!

And there’s still so much other Jack Warner stuff that wasn’t included, stuff like:

“Put the old, non-sequential bills in a paper grocery sack, then throw it in the trash can (the one with the false bottom that’s on top of a tunnel) that’s in front of FIFA headquarters. Then call me from a pay phone to this burner phone number when it’s been done."

The Nike thing is really interesting. Given the legal extradition battles that are going to take place before any of these guys see American soil, I think the fastest way this will shake FIFA up is for its sponsors to get spooked.

What, no charitable laundromats?

A bunch of American bowl reps just soiled themselves. Perhaps it’s a coincidence.

On the plus side it seems that we got to them before they discovered Bitcoin.