They're good, but they're no Buffalo Bills.

Fucking great.

[barfs]

Idiot. +1

Matheny called it "a distraction" the righty did not need.

Which is why Martinez will only be using his left hand from this point forward.

+1

+1

+1

Ha!

And here I always thought that the really big rats in Philadelphia were just an unfair stereotype.

A late +1

God, how embarrassing. Waking up in a Timberwolves jersey.

"Ahhh! Pussy Control!"

-Rioters

Nice.

Finally. A Brazilian sports story that DOESN'T involve a beheading.

+1

With CC Sabathia in the league, everyone else is just playing for second place in that category.

+1

.

Say what you will, but we're making progress as a society; 20 years ago, the Dr. Suess headline would have read "I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today."