"If you smoke marijuana in college, this is what happens."

@SI_PeterKing

Keep on dreamin', jabronies!

Oakland calls that "initiation."

Good catch

I would think she would take this more seriously, considering her namesake is Amy Winehouse. One hit too many can kill you.

Too soon. A pox upon this joke.

Ha!

Oof

+1

Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Drew?

So we're looking at WAR for this article? Please. What is it good for?

Barry.... are you an ESPN Insider?

+1

It's not nearly as sad if you imagine Robert Stack reading you the story, Jack.

Honorable mention

Oh, so Tony Thompson can talk about going home to break his wife's hips and it's funny, but Floyd Mayweather does the same thing and it's a big deal?

From downtown! +1

Fans have turned up in droves to trade in their Tony Romo jerseys for Josh Brent jerseys, citing that he is a shining pillar of "the Cowboy way."

I get to work from home. Winning....?