NOT returning? Delonte West

"Hall of Fame pitcher Greg Maddux used to mosey up to rookies in the shower, engage them in conversation and, while pretending to listen to them talk, secretly pee down their legs."

We are all witnesses.....to the rediscovery that, hey, Cleveland has a basketball team!

Dammit! Fuck all, Kiszla! You can't write a take this hot without warning, or providing some complimentary sunglasses at least! The take was so hot, my eyes are damaged! IT BURNED MY FUCKING RETINAS OUT, FOR CHRISSAKES!

So he would be a lot like that guy I had in Baseball Stars 2? The shortstop with the maxed speed? I'd bunt with him every time, automatic hit, and since the CPU didn't understand the concept of throwing to the NEXT base and holding the ball, I'd end up with an inside the park homer on a bunt every single time. Oh,…

"Women have ALL the best pussies to crush, but that's about it, bros, right? High five? FUCK YEAH! #crushthatpussy #worldlax #broshighfivin"

Nike views LeBron not as a basketball player, but as a shoe model.

"The man in golf cart inside LeBron James complex says he does not know when decision will come"

I mean, I can see it in the context of the Oven....

"You gots yourself a real nice place here, Tawny. Be a fuckin' shame if somethin' should happen to it.....pick the Heat, and nothin' will. Think of it like, I dunno, your own personal Zoo Insurance. We'll be watchin', Tawny....do like that old knight-lookin' dude did in that Illinois Jones movie—pick greatly, or…

"Because he's the hero the Nets deserve, but not the one they need right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A BrooklynKnight."

haha! See, it's funny because nobody who thinks it was funny was actually there, watching a 16 year old get raped!

If Bravo is looking to expand the "Real Housewives" series to Boston, they've already got the group of cast members, right there in the clubhouse.

So......"Horny Creep Watches Sports, Gets Paid To Ogle", then?

"Yeah, see, THAT was my problem, so shut up, sportswriters! Or maybe you WANT a dead rat sent to you? Is that it? I can do it, y'know, 'cause I got, like, a ton of those fuckers, just for this reason...."—Dave Kingman

Sam Lowry's reign of terror is OVER!!

"Too much, son..."—Jeremy Meeks

Mark Parent approves of this. I mean he REALLY likes it.

Okay...NObody thought of a "blitzkrieg" joke, but apparently Twitter broke because of the Holocaust jokes? Try harder, losers.

Kudos to the school for the action, but all this was worth just a "sexual battery" charge? Here's hoping the continued investigation leads to some additional, stronger charges.