I see him more as like Jeffrey Loria's drunken older brother. The one who has little respect for other peoples' personal space allowances, and who insists he could've been a big leaguer if the coach's son wasn't on the team.

"Cheer up, kid. You get used to it. Now get the fuck out of my face."—Dave Kingman

"I ain't touching this. This is obviously a hoax."—Jim Bowden

I'm no fashion maven, and I have a hard time matching even the most basic of clothes. Is it because the women in his movies mainly serve as interchangable foils for the males to conquer through some combination of quirky "charms" that, in reality, are only socially-acceptable ways to manipulate women? Because …

See, that was pretty much my reaction. Rice is a professional football player who's strong enough to take hits from other professional football players and not only survive, but actually thrive and make a damn good living at it. She might be a badass, but there's no way she could stand up to him physically.

Went to the Pirates' page to see what moves they're making or working on. Biggest headlines are about other teams.

"Damn, that's a hot take! Why the hell didn't I think of it?"—Bill Simmons

"I'll give you a whole carton of smokes and my 13 inch black and white for them."—O.J.

Waiting for my Pirates to make THEIR badass deadline rental deals! Surely there's a washed-up, minimally-productive, has-been out there, or a nice, productive player that'll do fairly well for them, only to be ditched after the season ends.

"The group is a pretty average group of guys."

"'Not this 15-year-old," he said."

Tight End: "I get a.....gimp mask, coach? Why? New drill?"

The best part was Pujols sliding AFTER Pearce caught the ball, as if he was trying to make it look like a close play.

Beautiful updating of the "Bugs saws off Florida" gif.

Well, yes, but when Flood arrives "in style", it'll help draw elite talent to the school, which will thus win more, and make everybody's lives just a bit more sparkly and wonderful! Especially the vast majority of residents who couldn't possibly give less of a fuck about how well the school does! So, in the end,…

Rob Deer begat Mark Reynolds, who begat Chris Carter

"nothing special" when it comes to licks? You sound like my ex-wife. HEY-OH!

"Is he some kind of athletic freak who stands at 6-foot-6, has a 40-inch vertical, and can run a 60-yard dash in 6.6 seconds?"

"Dammit. There ain't a fuckin' thing I can believe in no more. Here I thought I'z a member of a real community, not some buncha damn eee-leet commie lawyer types!"—KlansmanDan69, Redskinsfacts.com member

He approaches baseball like sweatshop employees approach the next shift.