Only the Cubs could have a player make a spectacular play, and have it hurt them.

"You may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit.........when you're not on steroids, I mean."—Lou Brown

His use of a spreadsheet indicates there may be an excellent reason she's turned him down.

Well. Well, well. So now I have this to think about every single time I try to tie something for the rest of my life. Or until the dementia really settles in.

Derek Holland, author of "Beaned: Rampant Farts, Ruined Shorts And How Fart Bottle Roulette Got Big"

"We didn't come here to conduct one investigation, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven..."—House Republicans

haha! The best part was when the goat stumbled!

When reached for comment, Joe Flacco answered, "I like football."

"I could've hit him."—Michael Jordan

Why, he'll be a walking, talking towel rack!

That man needs some Viagra! It'll help him do stuff like pour water in a muscle car's radiator, or pull a horse trailer out of the mud or........something like that.

"You shut your fucking mouth, Rendon!"—Mark Parent

"We didn't necessarily get good grades in a regular, non-AP physics class and then go on to study Quantum Astronuclear Physics at Princeton or Yale, but we turned out just fine. We didn't flunk out of school. We weren't deadbeats, nor were we on pace to become deadbeats. We're good students at good universities."

There's so much surprise to this sort of thing, and they mystery of why a civilian airliner was flying over a zone of active combat is so impossible to ignore, that the idea of conspiracy is very tantalizing. Of course, it's so ridiculously early, and a conspiracy is so hard to prove (or disprove), so any detailed…

Some of those folks wouldn't consider that much of an issue

I don't get it....I mean, why didn't they just ask all those folks that love to carry their rifles and shotguns to the local stores to just go out and blow them out of the sky? Or did they, and they just couldn't excuse themselves from manning the front lines of low, low, prices! at the local big box hardware store?

I'd like to see Lionel Hutz putz

Ernie Els, with his "Mantra For Outboard Motors" interpretive dance!

"...and did not want to slight anyone by singling out one individual."

"'I remember the Little League teams that come to the Stadium usually come and stand next to us. It means I've been doing it for a long time – a very long time. It's great to see guys that you run into when they're young. There's been plenty of players I've played against that have said I had an opportunity to met…