If conversion therapy is so effective, why do the Saints carry a punter on their roster?

Geaux Fuck Yourself

dont bring your bible to school - its killed more people than guns could ever hope to.

Maybe this is a reflection on me, but I was being genuine. I’m not trolling! I honestly think that Silver Shadow would be great for this guy. Is it really that crazy?

I’m on the same wavelength as David today apparently. “Land Cruiser” was my first thought. Nothing says conservatively managed wealth like a land cruiser.

I mean, couldn’t *one* of you have given him a reasonable answer?  The only non-troll answer is the Acadia, and he literally said he had no use for an SUV.  I get that there’s a comedy element, but I thought there were supposed to be a few helpful suggestions?

A petechial hemorrhage in and of itself isn’t really that serious, though it looks very disturbing.  Given his age, it’s probably a combo of thinning vasculature, and high blood pressure.

“Well, this very classy goal in the Bundesliga is one thing, but I just don’t think we can ignore the importance of Jozy’s hold-up play.”-a weirdly large segment of American soccer media and probably the USMNT coaching staff.

Both sides have bedbugs.

Bari Weiss and Brett Stephens would like to remind you that while this is all certainly unfortunate, some people on the left have suggested the Israeli government is doing bad things, and as such the problem really lies on both sides.

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

To co-opt a Bette Davis quote: “Mother always said to speak good of the dead. David Koch is dead. Good.”

Based on the above, it appears Mercedes may be attempting to do the world a favor and kill all those who pick the illuminated star.

I think the funniest part of the Mercedes Illuminated star is that you can only get it if you cheap out on options that really matter, like adaptive cruise and automatic emergency braking. You are literally making your MB shittier from the factory for the sake of adding the “look at me” emblem.

America should recognize what the rest of the developed world has—the criminal justice system is far too imprecise to deliver a sentence of finality like death.

Dwight’s greatest contribution as a Laker might have been this gif:

VAR is not the problem. High-def broadcasts with a million camera angles are the problem. And good luck putting that toothpaste back in the tube.

This is just like my dad and me, only instead of hitting home runs for large sums of money, I’m an emotionally distant borderline alcoholic who can’t communicate a lifetime full of disappointment with a disengaged, functionally absentee parent. So cool!