this guy suddenly bursts into the room, dramatically waltzes up to us, and demands to know if we'd "seen his assistant."

Nobody puts Baby on the floor.

Karen Milton:

My favorite part of Monday!

Authoritarian compliance is the way to live! What is wrong with those kids! They should learn to suck up and never object to any rule, no matter how arbitrary or gender-specific. That will make them great citizens!

When you get out of school you get options as to where you want to work. If you want to follow a career path that means you have to dress a certain way, sure, abide by the rules— although that doesn't mean you shouldn't attempt to change rules you think are unfair or shift the culture of your workplace if you think…

I'd like to draw your attention to the part about shorts, that they have to be longer than where a student's fingertips reach. That goes a long way to show how arbitrary the dress code is — fingertip length varies from person to person and has little bearing on how much is being revealed by the shorts. For instance:…

The problem is that the rule targets girls rather than boys and some school have admitted that the dress code is to prevent boys from being distracted. Also, the "fingertip rule" encompasses perfectly appropriate shorts as well. My daughter has gotten dress-coded for shorts that are appropriate and cover her butt…

It's highly gendered, which is a large part of the issue.

If it were phrased that way, I could support it. "Students are expected to dress in business casual or workplace appropriate attire."

This reminds me of my (very sheltered, but still an adult) stepsister, who ordered a burger in a very fancy Irish restaurant because it was the most "American" thing on the menu. I was nevertheless impressed because the burger including foie gras, which I thought was pretty darn bold for her. She took a bite and…

The Lion King was my first thought too! If you're dining out in Sussex, beeeeee preeeeeeeepaaaaaaaared.

This is my dramatic reinterpretation of Mufasa finding out what happened after Simba left home to travel the world, shunning his royal past.

Missouri has some really excellent cheese! Homestead Creamery (makers of Flory's Truckle), Baetje Farms (outstanding soft-ripened goat cheeses), Green Dirt Farm (incredible washed rind Bossa + more), and those are just the ones I can think up off the top of my head. Don't get me wrong— I fucking hate Missouri— but…

* Dear everyone about to comment by putting Cheese in quotation marks and saying "FTFY": the joke was funny the first 3,000 times I saw it. Be more creative.

Wonder why Cecily Strong got taken off the desk. If it was for any reason than so drunk girl could come back it's BS. Colin Jost is still wooden and lacks a connection with the audience. It's really disappointing, Strong will be missed.

"As you see in the video, Mr. Cumberbatch, if you crack the shell on your belly enough the clam opens and you get a delicious treat."