TOTALLY COUSINS

You’re right, he’s not as committed as the werewolf from twilight.

And so the next night the ghost returned to the haunted cabin. And he said to the campers, ‘ “None of you really believe in me. So I’ll have to prove my power”.’ Then the next morning, when the campers woke up, all their old noses had grown back.

They’re not nearly as bad as the people who tell you they’re ready and then make you stand there while they read the menu. Those fucking people, man.

After that litany of literal disasters, it was noted that she was uniquely qualified to understand Russian lit without further explanation.

What’s depressing is the troll either got someone to rec him or he’s followed by Jez. Meanwhile wondering (me), interesting(me) fascinating (Steve McQueen) posters linger in the gray.

I... Still do that pretty regularly. But only when drunk, and to my boyfriend. (“You should probably have a glass of water” “your mom should have a glass of water”)

The studio’s vision:

I went out with Conor Oberst a couple of times. The sex was meh, but I broke it off when he came over to my parents’ house for dinner and pretended like he didn’t know what a potato was. It was obvious to everyone that it was just a shitty joke that he refused to abandon, and my dad eventually kicked him out. I mean,…

If there was a thread about straight PDA i would say the same thing.

You know damn well she doesn't have any pubic hair.

The allergy one makes me remember yet again why my brother and sister-in-law have a fondness for Disney.

One time I asked this girl I knew to the senior prom.

Personally I'd rather set a record for catching the most single groomsmen, but whatever, lady.

Bushes come and go out of fashion.

Man, best my mom ever managed was to drive through a Circle K in a '66 Buick Electra.

M mom also burned down a restaurant, but she was just partying after hours with the owners and passed out on the pool table with a lit cigarette.

"As a palate cleanser for the last two weeks, please enjoy some stories of terrible customers receiving their just rewards."

I would like to take this moment to say: what this delivery driver did was unprofessional and uncool and so shitty.

"The French don't care what they do actually as long as they pronounce it properly."