If it helps at all: I was the awkward nerdy unpopular girl with big glasses in middle school, and at my very first semi-formal dance, it turned out that all the awkward nerdy unpopular boys wanted to dance with me and I had a great time. Thumbs-up and good wishes for your little miss!

Lindsay, girl, be careful. Your plastic surgery is starting to veer into Donatella Versace territory.

My mom, who was petite and slim her whole life (at least up until menopause hit her), told me at thirteen that I was getting a “secretary spread.” Ie, a fat ass.

That would be me if I were a ghost. It makes me feel less scared of ghosts (I’m terrified!) to hear something like that. :)

I feel like this is the perfect place to share that last night was my last ever shift at a restaurant and I’M SO HAPPY.

Can you link to your original story about Seymour? Or retell it here? I don’t know it/don’t remember it, and I need something supernatural and *happy* to balance out all the scary!

Thank you for this. I spent damn near a year in pain from my IUD and feeling like a failure as a liberal woman because it wasn't working for me. It's not for everyone, but everyone who has one is so damn proselytizing about it, it's hard to admit when it's not working out.

Haha, amazing! I definitely went through all of those twice, and made my partner listen while I ranted for a moment. If you need to practice your French, you should check out this video. ;)

Mispronunciation of French is one of my biggest pet peeves, partly because there’s so much of it, partly because when you try to correct it people pooh-pooh you— “well, that’s the way we pronounce it in English!” Right. Well then, you’re a moron.

“Fwah” as in the correct pronunciation for the word “fois/foi.” Which are different words.

I got into a serious public argument with my chef regarding the pronunciation of “foie gras.” He was insisting that it was pronounced “fwah”, and what’s even worse he was telling the whole FOH staff to say it that way when we sold it. I was basically like, “I don’t care if you fire me for showing you up, you are wrong…

Oh my god. That and people who pronounce “croissant” as “kwassant.” THERE IS NO FUCKING W THERE, PEOPLE.

I always thought it sounded like he yelled, “hey!”

That is an *extremely* graphic image to have appear unexpectedly. It may be culturally important, but fuck, man, put up some NSFW or “warning” or something. Don't put something like that up for just shock value.

My tried and true routine is plain bath soap and water, followed by moisturizer, every other day. It works so, so well.

As an exchange student I once got a series of text messages on my brand-new European cell phone from a very angry French woman who thought I was her cheating husband, and wouldn’t believe me when I said she had the wrong number. She kept texting me for dayyyyys.

I mean, I would watch Mean White Gays. It’s basically brunch with my friends, but I don’t have to suffer through cold scrambled eggs.

“Nerdman” sounds enough like “merman” that I feel like he ought to be an aquatic-themed superhero. His archnemesis would be Misogyctopus.