Tip according to the price before the discount, and add on more if you’ve taken up a table for a long time and there’s a wait. (If the place is empty, sit as long as you want, no one minds, particularly if you’re nice.) $4 on $11 is totally good, provided you’re not hanging out for 2 hours on it.

The hardest opponent an athlete has to defeat is themselves. Once you let yourself get psyched out, it's super hard to come back.

Girl, don't nobody care about how you rationalize your corset fetish.

Oh, you sweet summer child.

I used to study with a rabbi who was a reasonably liberal man with an irreverent sense of humor and a real serious compassion for humanity— and yet, when I once asked him how he felt about homosexuality, he told me he believed it was wrong.* I couldn’t fathom how this awesome guy could believe that, until he told me…

My dad was driving me and all my girlfriends home from somewhere, and we were being little goth-babies in the backseat, talking about how we wanted to die. My dad cut in, “I’d want to die while having sex. You’ll be coming and going at the same time!” Appropriately enough, I almost died then and there.

As a college student, I (agnostic) once watched two fellow female students perform an exorcism, one (Christian) on the other. (Buddhist) at a very strange little bed and breakfast in Mexico City. It was successful, by the crying account of the girl who was exorcised.

Welp, there’s your problem. You’re dating finance bros.

What about low-wage industries that traditionally have high turnover rates? With the industry I work in right now, it’s extremely rare for people to be employed with one company for more than two years, maximum. I even once had an old boss say that the longest anyone should spend in one place (within the industry) is…

Let me explain some simple physics to you, friend.

Seriously? The customers are the ones *most* likely to say this stuff, in my experience. I’ve had a customer ask me if I would let my boyfriend watch me take a shit. (What *is* rare is a customer saying to to a guy, honestly.)

That was definitely an eagle-lady!

I do something very similar any time I see someone pouring a bottle of wine with an overhand grip (ie, the bottle hanging from their hand rather than their hand under the bottle supporting it from beneath as they pour). I’ll be the asshole who gives them the unsolicited advice to hold it from beneath. Very early in my…

Alimony is meant to help support a spouse who was relying on their partner’s income, for whatever reason. If she’s been out of the workforce for 20+ years, it’s gonna be hard for her to “just get a job.” Employers tend to like to see that you have experience in.... Well, anything.

I have a fantasy of just printing out business-sized cards with the Mirriam-Webster definition of “Ready” on them to hand out to people who do that.

I generally just call sriracha “the savior of family meal.”

Nope. I work service industry, and the number of times I’ve had a straight couple making out inappropriately is too high to count. It is gross and inappropriate for a public space where you are being given service by another, regardless of the sexual or gender identity of the couple. It forces the service person into…

I really hope someone trolls them by wearing a burqa.

So: I remember a few years ago when I posted something about how my grandma always gave the worst gifts and they were a running joke with the other members of the family. I got about a million comments decrying how I could be so cruel to my dear old Nana, who was trying so hard, and how terrible a person I was for…